My son is starting to get manic again and won't take meds
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Michelle - posted on 04/28/2014
Manage your emotions, your behavior, and your responses first. I know it is difficult to manage yourself when your son is manic but if you don't manage yourself first, you are only adding to his mania. I use to feed into my husband and kids' emotions (mania, anger, anxiety, etc.) all too often. When I started managing myself, my emotions; my behaviors; and the most difficult, my responses to their behavior; I allowed them to take responsibility for managing themselves. We cannot always be there to take care of them, to make them take their meds, and do the right thing. We have to be a model to them - show them that you can change and they can change as well. It won't happen over night and it won't happen when you want it to or need it to. It will happen when they are ready. And it won't always happen. This too shall pass. No matter the age (young children, teenagers, young adults, and even adults) have to learn ways of managing their emotions, behaviors, and responses so they can become successful in the future. When he goes into his mania, just watch him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or anyone else. And sometimes, they are too old for us to watch over them, and that's the most difficult. That's when we have to allow them to make mistakes, even the really bad mistakes we prayed they wouldn't make. But they have to learn and we have to learn. When we give them the freedom to manage themselves, we are also showing them, expressing to them that we believe they can learn how to do manage on their own (even little baby steps toward big steps). When we believe they cannot manage without us, then they won't. Because we have shown them by constantly caring for them, that they can't manage themselves. It has taken me at least 10 years, if not more, to be able to step back and let my husband and kids learn how to manage their own emotions (no matter how upsetting it may be for me). My husband has built his self-confidence back up in himself enough to begin trusting the decisions he makes. My daughter is now out of the house and living with her boyfriend. Not something I agree with but something I have to display to her that I believe she can make it (even if I have doubts). My son is still dealing with his anger and emotional meltdowns. But I no longer take responsibility for his actions and decisions. He is now responsible for his own behavior - even with a mental illness. A mental illness does not mean they can't control themselves, it just means it takes more mental effort for them to do so. Wishing you the ability to find your peace when your son is manic. It is possible!
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