My son is trying to run my home & come between my man & I

Carla - posted on 04/12/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




Almost a year ago I got a call from my son that he and his bm (baby mama) were separating and he had nowhere to go in Florida. After seveal calls it was decided to bring him back to Missouri as he didn't really know anyone there. I spent $192 to bring him back. Two days later the bm shows up. A month and a half I had 13 people in my home then. Now I am on the verge of my relationship because my son made a mistake that was direspectful by walking in my bedroomafter he was told we were in bed. This upset my significant other and me as my son wouldn't leave when asked. We have been together 10 years but because my son is half stepping (work, contributing to bills, curses, verbally abusive). On the other hand my boyfriend of 10 years is very good to me and wants what's best for me. But ever sine they arrived I have been financially strapped. No help at all except for my sweetie. I'm tense, have to put my foot down to keep my son from trying to run my house. He acts like he can't get off the couch long enough except to eat, sleep, urinate, wash his behind, and get-gone when he feels like it.

I feel overwhelmed by all the rig-a-ma roll. The jealousy and insecurities are out of hand. I love them both, but we all know family love I'd different from a soulmate love. I don't like confusion and this is out of hand so I applied to an exparte to wake my son up. His behavior is out of control. I was denied the exparte. However because of the vulgar language I am deal with, I decided to file a Notice to Quit. Meaning, this can lead to an eviction but I'm giving him 15 to 30 days to pull it together and get a full-time job. In all actuality, he already had the 15 days, so he really getting more time. It's like his whole system shuts down because I'm taking him out of his smart-ellic comfort zone. Attitude suddenly changes. Right now he knows I'm not happy and that's the way I want it


Raye - posted on 04/13/2016




Anytime you share a home with persons over the age of 18, whether family or not, you should have a written contract of the conditions that must be met for them to live there. They still need to be respectful of the other occupants of the house. And if they can't abide by the rules, then they need to find another place to live. You're doing right by initiating eviction, if he won't willingly move out on his own. He's been taking advantage, and that's not right. He's a grown-ass man who should be trying to get his life in order. It's not your job anymore to protect him and you should not be on the hook to support his lazy habits. It's hard to have such harsh consequences with your child, but you're doing right.

You should not allow your grown children to ruin your romantic relationship. Your kids are supposed to be out making their own happiness, and you want someone to be happy with and spend your time with when they're gone. Your kids can't provide the same relationship that your boyfriend does. If your kids can't respect that then that's their problem. You've cared for your son his whole life, and it's high time for him to be an adult and care for himself. And you need to care for yourself. There's no shame in that.

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