My son now living with his dad

Niamh - posted on 09/14/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Feeling very upset and confused why my 13 yr old son would leave and live with his dad I have only ever loved and looked after him . He says he is happier there and has more freedom . I am not a monster but don't agree with hanging v around the streets or staying out till nine on a school night . And I get little respect for the past three years . Struggling to do my day to day things worrying why or what people will say . X

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Amy - posted on 10/27/2014

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Here's what I have come to grips with for my own son. Here comes the tough love- YOU CANNOT GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS. When he was little, all he needed was nurturing and love. He's not a little boy anymore and he's at an age where he probably needs his father much more than he needs his mother. It is not because he loves you less. This is NOT a betrayal. You have done your job-you took excellent care of him growing up and now it's time he learns the lessons that dad has to teach him. No matter how much you love him, not matter how much you try and teach him respect and teach him how to be a good man, you are missing a very valuable component - you cannot lead by example, because you are not a man. He needs a dad - even if he isn't winning father of the year anytime soon. You need to know that this is completely NATURAL. Many, many studies have shown that boys fair better with their dad. Girls do better with mom. You cannot speak his language. Men parent differently, and they're supposed to.. Accept that this is a good thing for him, no matter how heartbreaking for you. He's ready, and he needs this. Hang in there, it WILL get better! And I promise you that most people see it as a natural and an inevitable step for kids of divorce. You will get far more support than criticism.

Amber - posted on 09/14/2014

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This post breaks my heart. It would devastate me if this was going on in my life.first of all do not worry about what other would say. If they say any judgmental words they have no right to. They are not in your home and have no idea what goes on there. Does your son have a good dad at least? If so I would just try to be thankful for that. I know that's easier said then done though. If I were you I would just pray for God to return your son to you. And pray for his safety while he is out of your care.That's really all you can do in this situation. Try to see your son as much as possible. And remember, no matter how much a child might act like he doesn't need you, he still does and you will always be his mother. He will come back. I'm not sure when but I promise he will. You are the only mother he will ever have.
if the father is not a good influence to your son and doesn't care for him the way you think he should then let the courts know about it and take any action you need to.
God bless
amber

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