My son's father and his wife are trying to control every aspect of my son's life

Ssuan - posted on 04/29/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I never married my son's father. His father is now married and for the most part we all get along very well.
But they are trying to control every aspect of his life. We never went to court to discuss custody rights and we share equal amount of time and responsibilities. My problem is when it comes to making educational and medical decisions she acts like she is his mother and so does his dad. For example: my son's has to have some genetics testing done and I made sure with his dad that he would be available to take him because I work 9-to-5 and he does not. Plus I have already taken a lot of time off for other of his dr. anyway, then he tells me he has to work and that his stepmom will be taking him. So I postponed it for a later date so I can go. I do not feel it is her place to take him. Does anyone think I am wrong.? Please help me with any suggest on how to handle this problem.


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Jodi - posted on 04/30/2013




I must admit, I am not seeing how this is trying to control your son's life either. She probably thought she was doing the right thing. You're not wrong in not wanting her to do it, but I'm not seeing the control thing.

Kristi - posted on 04/29/2013




I'm kind of with Dove here and also as a stepparent who did much of that for my first and second husbands' children. I don't blame you for wanting to be there. It's hard to suggest what "else" you can do per se. You're not wrong, you can feel anyway you want. I think it's our natural instinct to presume we are the only ones who can possibly do what's best for our children and if we're unavailable, then dad better be ready to step up. When it comes to our children, I think women are worse about "marking our territory" than guys ever are about anything! Lol

There's not enough information here to really say anything else. I hope you get things worked out so that, no matter what, your son feels safe and comfortable when he goes in for testing.

Dove - posted on 04/29/2013




Well... if she was available and willing and neither of you were available.... how does that make her/him trying to control your son's life? You aren't wrong for rescheduling if that is what you are comfortable with doing, but I don't see the problem with her being willing to take him either.

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