my son's father is not supportive but i luv him,my mother is not happy at all n want me to end with him.the thing is m 20 years n nt workn,so they are the ones caring for my son,what can i do,plz help,dz is stressing me so much.its killing me.

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Jodi - posted on 11/15/2012

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Patricia, I am glad to hear you are studying to make a better life for your son. Now get rid of the deadwood. Seriously, this man is holding you back. Tell him to step up or get out. Think of the bad example he is setting for your son. Your son will learn from his dad.....is this what you want for him when HE is an adult?

PATRICIA - posted on 11/15/2012

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TO TARA.thanks.u really helped me,i think I'll be able to go through this.please keep on giving me those advices.God bless you.

PATRICIA - posted on 11/15/2012

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TO JODI.He always promises to support,he is saying he is broke, but why believe that.Well m studying in a tertiary school here in Botswana,doing bachelor of science in computing.m finishing in 2017.I know 1 day I'll be able to give my son all the necessities because m working very hard on that at the moment.Thanks it really helps to have someone to talk to.

Tara - posted on 11/15/2012

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Your priority should be your son. If his father is not stepping up then you need to take steps to make him do so, at least support-wise (child support) for your son.



There is nothing you can do to make him be supportive of you, be with you, be in your son's life, etc if he doesn't want to be.



And really, why do you want to be with someone like that? This man isn't your son's father, he is a sperm donor.



A sperm donor is not a father - a father is someone who will be there when your son is puking sick and won't mind losing some sleep or winding up with baby vomit on him. A father is someone who hurts when his child hurts. A father is someone who sees his child's mother as the wonderful woman who carried his child. A father is someone who steps up to the plate when his child is born.



Your son is the most important thing and honestly, I agree with your parents on this one.



You also need to be looking at what you can do to support your son. Pining after the twit that fathered your son is not helpful to anyone.

Jodi - posted on 11/14/2012

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Why is your son's father not supporting your son? Why are you not working? Why are you and the father not stepping up and supporting your child? I actually agree with your parents here, if your son's father is not making an effort to support your child, then that is simply not acceptable. You are 20 years old, it is time for you to grow up and learn to support your own family and stop freeloading off your parents.

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