My son's father wants to take him for thanksgiving

Tyler - posted on 11/08/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is 14 months old, he has only seen his father like 4 or 5 times the last 14 months. He's never sent me any money to help me out with the kid, but he always says he wants to help out. I live in Iowa and he wants to take my son for thanksgiving to Alabama to meet his other family. Personally, I think that trip is going to be so stressful for my son, since he barely knows his father and I'm in a committed relationship and he sees my fiancé as his dad. Another thing is, he's going to surrounded my stranger for a whole week. What should I do? Should I let him take my son for thanksgiving? What can you recommend me?

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Jodi - posted on 11/08/2013

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Firstly, I would not let him take him out of state without having some form of court order in place. Did you know he could keep the child if he chose to and it would not be considered kidnapping and there is nothing you could do about it?

Secondly, it is time to put some court orders in place.

Thirdly, if the father is not paying support, you can't complain if you haven't been to court to have child support ordered.

Finally, your fiance is not your child's father and never will be. Sure, he can be an important person in her life, but he is NOT her father. She has a father who clearly wishes to be involved in her life somehow. You have an obligation to get court ordered visitation in place to allow this to happen.

Tyler - posted on 11/08/2013

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Me and my fiancé are the only ones who take care of my son in every aspect, his father hasn't helped at all and he wants to take him to Alabama for thanksgiving and we live in Iowa. His father is a 20 year old who no experience whatsoever on taking care of a baby, and my son would not have a crib to sleep in while he's away any he'll surrounded by people he's never seen. I don't know what to do about this situation. How is this going to affect my son?

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