My Son's Girlfriend is living with us. What is her responsibility?

Jin - posted on 12/02/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

3

0

0

I am in a desperate need of advices regarding my situation right now.

My son and his girlfriend has a 14 month old son and due to financial reasons, my husband and I invited them to come and stay with us until they got their foot off the ground. My son's girlfriend does not work but my husband and I do. I am frustrated and I don't know if the way I am feeling is normal or not nor, do I know what to do about it. You may wonder what is causing my frustration and I will tell all of you in hopes of getting some good advices. Here is a list....



1. She gets up at 9 in the morning at the earliest and much later most of the time. Usually the baby gets up first and cries and she is forced to get up.

2. She feeds herself while feeding the baby.

3. She does nothing most of the day except play games or talk on the phone with her family back in Texas(We are in NJ).

4. She puts no effort into keeping the house clean(I gave up cleaning the house after their mess. I am tired and I feel like a maid).

5.When I come home after work around 10 pm, she just stays in the room with the door closed and doesn't say hello.

6. The days I am home, she expects me to do all the house chores, including cooking and laundry.



I tried so hard to understand and keep an open mind and open heart regarding their situation but it got to a point where I can no longer sustain myself. Please Help!!!!! and pray for me...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/03/2012

21,273

9

3058

I agree with Michelle. Really you should have set boundaries before having her moving in, but now is as good of a time as any. Also, see if you can try to set a time frame for when they need to move out. Why is she not living with her family? How old are they both and is your son working?

Jin - posted on 12/03/2012

3

0

0

Thanks for the advice but we have already try doing this. It lasted no more than a day and back to usual. I am wondering if my son is the root cause of this because he seems to be in her favor all of the time. Making excuses like: well, she grew up differently, her lifestyle was different, and so on.. Is not cleaning up after a mess a lifestyle? Is taking a shower/bath once every three or four days a lifestyle? I thought about telling them to leave many times but, he is my son and he needs help. He just got a job(which my husband found for him) and I am hoping that his girlfriends role in this household can change so that we can all live together in harmony.

Michelle - posted on 12/02/2012

4,678

8

3247

I would sit everyone down and let them know that in your house there are rules to be lived by. These rules include:

Every person is responsible for keeping the house clean and tidy.

There will be a roster drawn up if people aren't pulling their weight.

Everyone will take turns in cooking the evening meal and cleaning the kitchen EVERY night.



These are just some of the things you can put down. If they choose to not follow YOUR rules while living in YOUR house then they can find somewhere else to live. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.



I would also charge them board to go towards the utility bills since she is at home all day using the most power.

5 Comments

View replies by

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/03/2012

21,273

9

3058

Well then Jin, if you are going to take his excuses for her, then why post a question about how to deal with her? Tell her to get off her lazy ass or move out. And stop cleaning up after her.

Michelle - posted on 12/03/2012

4,678

8

3247

If you aren't willing to be tough then there's not a lot more we can offer you.



I don't care what upbringing you have had, respect works wonders. She is living in your house and the least she can do is pull her weight. If it was me she would have been out a long time ago. I don't let my children sit around and do nothing and they are 11. 8.5 and 2.5. My 2.5yo loves doing the laundry and runs when the machine finishes to hang it out.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms