Calen - posted on 08/08/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )
My son is 3 and about 2 weeks ago started saying "I don't like you Mommy". I know that when I have just told him no, or that if he is upset or mad about something, this can be normal and he is working through a negative emotion that he cant express properly. What hurts me is the fact that he does not say it at these times. He says it at what appears to be random moments. His Nana telling him Mommy is on the phone "I don't like Mommy", when it is time to go home "I don't like Mommy, no no", or when we are snuggled on the couch "I don't like you Mommy".
The absolute worst moment came when right after playing a vigorous game of Ninja's, we were settling down and he runs up to me, grabs my face in his hands and shouts "I DO NOT LOVE YOU".
I don't understand what is happening. Is this a phase? Have I failed him in some way? Does he truly not like/love me deep down?
I am a single mother, working full time and I have lupus. I spent the first 6 months of his life in and out of the hospital, and missed the most important bonding time. For the first 3 years we lived with my parents, who consistently undermined me in front of him, or would jump to his every need in order to "let me rest" or because (in my mothers case) they want to be the one that is there. On a side note, this had gotten so bad, that I sometimes felt my son would confuse my mother with being his mommy and his mommy being the big sister. And this is how I felt. I worried constantly that with my mother constantly taking over, there was no room left for me to be the mommy.
We moved out on our own 4 months ago, and I have been working hard to instill a deeper bond between us by setting up traditions, weekly fun things like Friday Movie Night, and making sure we have ample play time together.
My son is affection and very loving. He is always a happy little boy, always smiling and trying to make others laugh. He tries very hard to make others happy. He is constantly giving me kisses, hugs or saying "I love you." And then this starts.
I am heart broken and am unsure what is going on or how to handle it. Any advice would be most appreciated! I am so lost.