My son won't fully potty train-what more can I do?

Keristen - posted on 05/08/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son is 5 and will be starting kindergarten next year. I been trying to potty train hin since he was 2-3 with no luck. At the end of his terrible two's. I noticed some developmental delay. He didn't start walking till he was 18 months or talking until he was 2. I had tests ran on him to find out that he was in fact developmentally delayed. More tests showed that he had symptoms of ADD/ADHD and autism. He has been diagnosed with all three. My son is very smart and does very well in pre-k. His speech is definitely improving and he loves school. I just can't get him potty trained. I try to let him wear underwear during the day and Good-Nites at night. He will go by himself sometimes and sometimes he will not. He will pee in the toilet but not do the other. I have tried everything I can think of like Cheerios in the toilet, rewarding him with toys, chips, candy, stickers, taking him to the restroom when I go, making him go every hour when he gets home from school, and his teachers also make him go regularly when he is at school. What else can I do to help him do both things in the toilet could his lack of potty training be due to his developmental delays?

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Hiba - posted on 05/11/2012

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My friend had similar issues with her boy but I should add that there was no diagnosed developmental delay...He was insistent on doing bm in a nappy although he was dry from a young age...the one thing that helped was to accept that he wanted to use a nappy, but not give him freedom of movement whilst doing it...ie use the nappy, but in the restroom...this helped alot at school too, then clean him up, from there you could move to sitting on loo in nappy, to gradually removing it...obviously this is not an identical situation, but thought it may help...as you said though, patience is key. Good luck :)

Kimberly - posted on 05/11/2012

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When I had these issues with my daughter I later was told not
to use any type of pull ups or training pants just underwear.
Also not to constantly reward with treats and use time out measures
when they won't use the potty. Continue to just be patient and
good luck.

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Keristen - posted on 05/11/2012

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The only time I use the Good Nites is when he goes to school because that is what his teacher requested because when he messes up his clothes, it seeps down into the floors and carpets.

Hiba - posted on 05/11/2012

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My friend had similar issues with her boy but I should add that there was no diagnosed developmental delay...He was insistent on doing bm in a nappy although he was dry from a young age...the one thing that helped was to accept that he wanted to use a nappy, but not give him freedom of movement whilst doing it...ie use the nappy, but in the restroom...this helped alot at school too, then clean him up, from there you could move to sitting on loo in nappy, to gradually removing it...obviously this is not an identical situation, but thought it may help...as you said though, patience is key. Good luck :)

Keristen - posted on 05/10/2012

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Dove thanks for your post. I take him LeBohneur every six months. He has been diagnosed as mildly autistic. I hope I don't have to endure the same difficulties as that woman did but I do agree. Patience and persistence are key.

Dove - posted on 05/09/2012

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Patience and persistence are the only things I can suggest.

I do believe that his diagnosis could have something to do with the potty training difficulties. I don't have any personal experience with this, but do know of one woman with a severely autistic, mostly nonverbal child who did not potty train until he was 8. He is a teenager now and they still have frequent bowel issues.

Keristen - posted on 05/09/2012

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I have taken him to the doctor and asked questions suggesting what can i do to help him potty train. I do leave it on him for a while but then when he gets to feeling uncomfortable he sticks his hands back there and try to play in it and put it in his mouth. The doctors did not give me any suggestions other than to keep working with him. Thank you for your post though!

Louise - posted on 05/09/2012

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This is very unusual at 5. Take him to the doctors and see if there is anything they can suggest. There is a condition called shy bowel where the child simply can not relax enough to open their bowels whilst feeling under pressure. I believe the treatment for this is mild laxative like lactose. When he is dirty do you tend to clean him up straight away or do you wait a while. I would be inclined not to rush to clean him. Let him feel uncomfortable and smelly to encourage him to use the toilet. Other than that I have nothing to suggest. Sorry!

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