My sons father is trying to win custody. but he hasnt been in my sons for the 3 years something, and plus he hasnt paid child support in over a year, and now we are going to court and he wants to put my past on me and have me lose my son, is it possible i will lose my son? someone help please!

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[deleted account]

Get yourself some legal advice asap!!! It depends on where you live. Each case depends on the circumstances. This is how the courts view it here:

generally when making arrangements for children, you will need to consider:

whether it is reasonably practical for the children to spend equal time or substantial and significant time with each parent (substantial and significant time includes weekends, school holidays and days other than those)

how their time will be spent with other significant persons in their lives, such as grandparents and other relatives

who will look after them after school

where will they spend holidays

any other things such as choice of school, health care, sport, or religious matters, and

how to ensure that the children continue to enjoy their culture



The two primary considerations are:

• The benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both the child’s parents; and

• The need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm from being subjected to, or exposed to, abuse, neglect or family violence.



The Court is required to assess, among other things:

• any views expressed by the child and any factors relevant to the weight the Court should give the child’s views

• the capacity of each parent to provide for the child’s needs

• the attitude of the parent towards the child and the responsibilities of parenthood

• any family violence involving the child or a member of the child’s family

• whether any family violence order applies.



Given that your ex has been absent for an extended period of time and has not paid child support, he will have a hard time winning full parental responsibilities. He may win visitation, dependant upon how far apart you live from each other and his ability to maintain frequent access to your child.



He would need to prove that he is willing and able to re-establish a bond with the child before the court would be likely to award him anything more than that. Try to communicate with you ex and make an agreement that is fair to the child. Use a mediator if necessary. In some places mediation must take place prior to court anyway. It will always look better and achieve better outcomes all around if you are seen to be reasonable, responsible and fair. (even if he's a complete jerk).



No court is going to remove a well adjusted, settled, happy child from their present situation. A judge would need significant cause to do so, you would need to be proven unfit as a parent, which is a very long process.

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Dove - posted on 08/25/2012

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You could go to the police station in the county he was arrested in. It 'should' be public record. Depending on what the felony is... it could or could not help your case.



You really need to be asking a lawyer these things.

Piinky♥promise - posted on 08/25/2012

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I need help please! Me and my sons father will be going to court soon, i had a police officer serve him the custody paper, hes hasnt been in my sons life at all. he hasnt done a darn thing for my little boy. my son dosnt even know who the heck he is, my son just knows me and my bf are his parents and thats it, its not my fault my sons idot dad didnt want to be apart of his life, and now i'm with someone who actually will do anything in world for my son and i have a daughter thats 6months with my new bf so my son has a little sister now, the are so cute when they pay together, its like they understand each other its so cute, so i have to go through with this custody thing its only right, but im pretty sure my sons father is a convicted felon. but how would i find out? do i go to the police station? who could help me with this? and wouldnt this be useful in court? i could tell them hes a convicted felon and it wont look so good on him.

[deleted account]

ok to show your ex hasnt been in your son's life,i would suggest the best way is through an affidavit where you state the events of the last 3 years. It would then become his word against yours and he would need to prove otherwise to overturn what you're saying. A legal advisor may have other suggestions for you to consider. If he didn't pay child support and had a permanent address elsewhere, thats something court will consider

In terms of your past. you need to prove who you are now. when was the last time you were in trouble with the law and what were your offences (you dont need to tell me, just consider it). Can you provide a stable home and the day to day needs to take care of your child. do you have a stable income? Do you have family/friends support network? if you have done any counselling etc that all counts as to the person you are today.

Piinky♥promise - posted on 08/12/2012

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well of course my pass is 100% in the pass, i have 2 little one now, and i grow out of my bad ways, i was young you know how is it, but i would never go back to how i was years ago, i resently had a baby girl shes 5month now, im with a new boyfriend been with him for 3 half years, hes been the father of my 3yr old son, but what kind of proof do i need to show that my ex hardly did a thing for his son in 3yrs? and also what kind of proof do i need to show that my past is in the past? please help me!

Dove - posted on 08/12/2012

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If your past is 100% in your past and you have proof of that.... and also proof that your ex hasn't done a thing with or for your son in 3 years.... He will most likely get laughed out of the court room for filing for full custody.... though he may very well get visitation to reestablish a bond.



You definitely need a lawyer though... and to be 100% honest with your lawyer about everything. They will be able to give you the best advice specific for your particular situation.

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