My sons father lied to court to obtain sole custody

Tabetha - posted on 10/04/2013 ( 21 moms have responded )

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The 1st of July I moved back up north (Oak Harbor Ohio) with my mom with my other son, July 14 I went and picked up my youngest son from his father in Columbus Ohio I had him till August 6th and my step sister took him back home cause she also lives in Columbus, Well after he got back to dads , dad went and filed full custody and told the court he had no means of contacting me , But I do have cell phone records during this time in which I called my son on his dads phone and none of these conversations he informed me that he was filing for sole custody and told the court that I had abandoned my son.. and he way of knowing where I am nor could he contact him, I can I get him for lying under oath and perjury? as of right now he wont take my calls or let me talk to my son, I cant even sleep at night this has my mind screwed up.. the only reason I found out is I called the school to give my info so I know whats going on with him and school, and they are the ones that informed me I had no rights.. so I called the courts and they told me he ran a publication for 2 weeks and since I didn't respond the court granted him sole custody... Just need some hope that the court will reverse the motion and see that he lied!! Sad mom in Ohio :0(

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 10/05/2013

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Tabetha, you're right, kids aren't stupid. They will question why you moved away in the first place. Fighting for your right to joint custody is not using your kids. It is actually fighting for the RIGHT thing for your child - a relationship with both parents. However, as I said, joint custody is virtually impossible if you have chosen to move away. If you choose NOT to fight for visitation, be prepared to tell your child why you didn't.

Ev - posted on 10/05/2013

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Tabetha-Do not get your hopes up too high even though you have the evidence. YOU do need TO BE PREPARED for the possible chances that he will get to keep the boy and you get the visitation. Nothing is a for sure thing in this world anymore.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/04/2013

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The reality of the situation is that sometimes the courts will only require a notification be run in a newspaper. If you don't take that paper, and don't respond, it is seen as absenteeism, and custody is granted.

You need to get yourself an attorney, and get your ducks in a row. Have solid proof of dates/times of contact with your ex and your son, and proof of attempts. This can be shown with the cell phone records.

Be prepared to defend yourself well. You will need to be able to counter any accusation made against you, and you'll need incontrovertible proof to do so. Hearsay is not proof, nor will it be accepted, so everything has to be documented.

21 Comments

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Tabetha - posted on 10/06/2013

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Well its not up to you to understand, I could not afford to live anywhere decent and my kids get a good education in Columbus , I don't know you to tell you my life story Michelle and I'm only 2 an half hours away , what did was wrong he had means contacting and I would have agreed to the new custody as long as I still get visitation with my son , Its the way he did it.... THANK YOU AND YOU HAVE A NICE DAY!!!

Michelle - posted on 10/05/2013

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Doing shared care really only works if you live close to each other so the children can go to the same school/daycare regardless of the parents they are with.
I have been doing shared care with my 2 oldest children for 8 years so know what it entails. I know that if I moved away then it would mean I don't get to see my children.
I'm trying to understand why you chose to move away and then be so upset that your ex took actions to stop you from taking his child away from him.
Yes i understand he lied to the courts but he was probably thinking that since you had moved you were planning on keeping your child and letting him have limited visitation.

Tabetha - posted on 10/05/2013

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I have never fought him in court I don't want my son to have to go thru it , that's y he's got residential cause he wanted to fight me for me, I'm not willing to make my son feel he has to choose I know in time he will come live with me, kids are not stupid they live and learn the truth.. I have faith all will turn out good.. I just want peace I'm not one to use my kids in any way shape or form.

Jodi - posted on 10/05/2013

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Oh, I wasn't trying to be off base, my apologies if you saw it that way. I was just asking a question. I totally understand you wanting visitation. I was just trying to point out that maybe HE felt threatened about the move and thought you may go for primary custody, in which case, he decided to get the jump on you. Shared custody doesn't always work with the distance - especially as kids get older.

Definitely talk to a lawyer about it, because you have the right to visitation at the very least :)

Tabetha - posted on 10/05/2013

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I moved during the summer and we have shared he can't prevent me from doing anything, I'm not planning on up routing my son , I just want visitation with me and communication,, u are totally off base here..

Dove - posted on 10/05/2013

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Proving that he lied may get the order reversed... but it may not. Definitely stay positive cuz negative thinking will just suck you into a horrible cycle, but get a GOOD lawyer and document anything and everything... no matter how insignificant it may seem. As my lawyer always used to tell me.... hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. I hope you are able to see and talk to your son soon! And that whatever happens between you, your ex, and court ends up in the best interest of the kids.

Jodi - posted on 10/05/2013

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Tabetha, when you moved away, did you have your ex's permission to do so? He has every right to prevent you from moving away because it may alienate his relationship from his child, so he would have had grounds to apply for full custody on that basis anyway. Are you even going to be able to maintain joint custody on the basis of your court orders if you do get this reversed in some way?

Ev - posted on 10/05/2013

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I can understand this about being positive but do not set yourself up to be disappointed.

Tabetha - posted on 10/05/2013

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We had shared parenting until he went and done this, I just moved away 2 months ago , my W2 were sent to his mothers house , I stayed with her for a while I'm pretty sure I will get my son ... Thanks for all the info :)

Ev - posted on 10/05/2013

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I have to agree with these ladies except for Busy Bee. I do not know if she understands this at all or has been in the situation. In these cases too, its a lot of he said/she said as well and unless the proof is there, you are not going to make any dents into this case. If you do have those texts, dates, times, and other things you say you have, it might make a difference. But you do have to have proof and hearsay is not gong to do it. And just going off what Busy Bee said about his actions and things is not enough to get your child back to you. I know...I have been there too.

Charlotte - posted on 10/05/2013

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I don't want to sound negative, but be ready for disappointment, just in case. My daughter's father did this to me when she was born eight years ago and I had severe postpartum depression. I have ample visitation time with her, but I have absolutely no rights as her mother. Because I have Bipolar disorder, I will never get custody of her as I will always have to "prove" that I am completely better...and this is a lifelong disorder. Sometimes, no matter what info you give the courts, you are climbing an uphill battle. Best of luck to you...be sure to take care of yourself. I know how stressful this is...and you need to try to be cool and rational. Take care of yourself so you can handle this.

Tabetha - posted on 10/04/2013

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I have cell phone records and photos of my son while he was visiting with me, I have screen shot all text messages between him and I.. during the time he claimed he didn't have no way of contacting me, I have talked to my son up to 30 mins on each occasion so I'm pretty sure I got him , my step sister also has her text messages as to where to drop my son off to his father, they met a mutual meeting place.. So I have faith things will work out for me.. :)

[deleted account]

your welcome i hope he gets into trouble for this. Your raising two children and this nonsense it another load of stress that you dont need. xxx

Tabetha - posted on 10/04/2013

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thank you so much for your encouraging words!! my heart is broken right now is all , I only moved cause the only places I could really afford in Columbus wasn't good for my kids meaning schools and neighborhoods.. So I moved back to small town where I could afford to live and my kids can participate in sports.. but thanks for cheering me.. Going to try to rest working 5p-5a tonight... THANK YOU !! :0)

[deleted account]

how your feeling right now is exactly how he want you to feel. his behaviour gives me the impression of a manipulative person. its really difficult managing on your own as you are constantly questionning yourself but have some confidence in your self and believe in the fact that, the story he made up sounds silly. if you didnt want to be there you would have got off no explanations, phone calls anything. im not a judge and even i can see the story sounds out of sorts you need to rest your mind and relax, no mum working two jobs to provide for their kids is gona leave them. You sound like a good mum

Tabetha - posted on 10/04/2013

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thank you, just feel like my world has been turned upside down ... :o( I cant eat or sleep .. its really stressing me out.. I work 2 jobs to provide for me and my kids, as he sits and lives off a woman old enough to be his mother.. she has money to fight me in court to where I live pay check to pay check.. just hope the court will see what he really is now..

[deleted account]

they will reverse the motion. the story you have explained makes complete sense, dont worry the judge will be able to see through his lies, if you abandoned your child why would you call the courts you would be no where seen. Dont worry it will work out in your favour . keep strong and dont let him grind you down.

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