My sons girlfriend is affecting his college life

Pilar_lopezmon - posted on 03/14/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Last October my son started dating this girl, who had a lot of health issues. She comes from a very broken family and he became very protective of her.
By November he wanted to move in with her, because he thought she couldn't be left alone or she could have a seizure. We had plans to visit my parents overseas since July and had purchased airfare tickets.
Just seen how my son was so in deep on helping this girl I allow her to come with us to visit my parents. It was a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing because I realize she wasn't really sick she was just making a good play to draw attention, and a bad thing because my entire family was wondering what was going on, to the point they thought she may have been pregnant.
The problem I really would like some moms advice is that since December my son doesn't come home to visit, the university is just an hour and 20 minutes away. He has turned into a shaggy, raggedy person, is using all the money and resources we send to him to help with rent, dog food ( she owns 3 dogs, a bunny and a rat) they leave in an awful disgusting dirty apartment, more like hoarders (is really gross)
He does no longer join any clubs, meets with his friends, goes for fun activities, and keeps working online to make some extra money to compensate more
I am desperate looking at my son living like this, this is not who we raise or who he is. My kid loved to look sharp, had a great social raport with people and is very intelligent! during his first two years of college he had multiple opportunities for internships, clubs and fraternities
I do not wish anything bad for this girl, just to leave my son alone so that he can continue focusing on the school and make a career for his life
How can I convince my son to find his own space again and enjoy his school years, he is like a parent to all these dogs (with bad habits) is a huge responsibility. He doesn't go anywhere because who is going to watch all these animals and she plays the guilt trip of being lonely because her parents are divorced and she can't get alone well enough to live with any of them

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Ev - posted on 03/14/2016

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I do not know how old he is but he has to be an adult and that is his choice. There is nothing you can say or do that will "convince him to change". He has to want it himself. Did you ever consider that he might just love this girl?

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