My step daughter

Brandi - posted on 08/12/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




We are not married but have been together for two years. His two daughters do not live in the same state they're only here three months in the summer. Their ages are 7 and 2. The seven year old has become unbearable in her actions. I know where it stems from and she and I alone are great he's around and she is almost inappropriate and very jealous causing several fights between us. I've played the bigger person ignoring it but her actions only get bigger demanding attention. She acts more like a 25 year old jealous girl then a child. It's severe. I literally for three months live with a jealous girlfriend in the house. It's bad. It's tearing us apart. He refuses counseling and dismisses it as her mourning their parents breakup three years ago. I believe it's only going to get worse because it has. I cannot live like this three months out of the year. She literally just left and he and I are back to wonderful. In saying that I do not hate her I love her I cannot stand what she does. He does not like to show affection in front of her as she freaks out. I believe all children should see a loving affectionate parental relationship. He was not like this last summer he's caving more to her demands. She needs counseling bad. She's been caught steeling, purposely hitting her own head, and threw herself in deep water because he touched me. It's so serious and he does not see all of it. He does get on her every time he sees it but a lot he does not. Ugh caught between a jealous kid and love of my life!! And I've been pushed to so closely walking away. Help


Dove - posted on 08/12/2015




She is likely acting out because she only sees her dad THREE MONTHS of the year (which is not that much, but it's also a LONG stretch for a young child to be that far away from her mother). She is jealous because you get her dad all the time and she likely feels she DOES have to fight you for him.

Yes... counseling for all of you would be a great idea. Maybe her father will be more receptive if you are not putting this all on a child, but say that you want the whole family to be able to be calm and enjoy the time that the kids are there.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/12/2015




She's 7. She was 5 when her parents split, and if you've been 'with' her father for 2 years, you were either around prior to the split, in which case, expect her to blame you for that, or the rebound directly after the split, but she may still see you as the mitigating factor.

SHE ONLY SEES HER FATHER 3 MONTHS OUT OF 12. You cannot expect her to act fully mature during those three months, because SHE'S 7 YEARS OLD. A confused little girl who has to not only handle the fact that she doesn't see her father for 3/4 of the year, and then when she DOES, this woman, who is NOT her mother, and NOT her step mother thinks that she needs to hover constantly. Of course the child is going to be possessive of her daddy, it's the ONLY time she sees him during the year.

During those months, his responsibility is TO HIS CHILDREN. He needs to meet their every physical and emotional need, and if that includes no PDA to you, YOU need to adjust. You're the girlfriend, my dear, and you aren't permanent at this point. The children don't need their hearts broken again.

I don't agree with his refusal to have his daughters in counseling, as that will help them adjust to their ever changing situation, and will help them also develop coping mechanisms for when they get stressed due to that situation, but you also may need to understand that YOU are not the priority.

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