My step daughter is having issues

Shavonn - posted on 10/11/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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my 5 year old step daughter is having behavioral issues.
She is smart,, acts like she dumb.. shes knows how to write every letter in the alphabet, and recite them as well... also knows how to write and spell her name. Bu
But when you ask her to, she puts on the dumb act until she gets in trouble for it. She refuses to do her school work, which also gets her in trouble.. shes reverted to soiling her underwear.

We've tried time outs, taking toys, tv,and outside playtime away from her...
and it seems she would rather be punished than correcting her intentional mistake.

We've tried therapy, and medication as well for ADHD..
nothing is helping,, someone please help.. its driving me crazy

concerned stepmom

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Christy C - posted on 10/11/2013

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My kids have tried stuff like that. My kids reason behind it was that they wanted me to stay there and help them do it. Like seriously hold their hand and help them write the letter. It also had to do with perfection. If my child thought that he was going to make a mistake he was too nervous to do it and he would refuse just because he thought that he COULD get something wrong. But my child has autism. A lot of what you are saying here just reminds me of my kid when he was in kindergarten. Something that worked for my kids was for me to be their cheerleader. I was in the room complimenting everything that they have done on their homework. Said that I am so proud of them and they should keep going because they are doing great! I tried everything and that one did help a lot. Sometimes I would sing their homework to them so I could make them laugh and have fun doing their homework, I hope that helps ♥

Shavonn - posted on 10/11/2013

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we had a psychiatric evaluation,, the dr diagnosed her with adhd,, and shes been in therapy since March

Jodi - posted on 10/11/2013

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Ok, well, that could be having an impact on her. That isn't such a long time ago. I realise you have already tried therapy, bit how long did you try this for? Therapy is an ongoing process. What did the therapist conclude? Is there a reason you have stopped? Why medication for ADHD? Did you have her properly diagnosed for ADHD? It just sounds like a very troubled young girl :(

Sorry for so many questions, but obviously it is a complicated issue, so there are so many factors that could be impacting.

Shavonn - posted on 10/11/2013

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her mother abandoned her back in november,, and she has only seen her mother twice since she ran off and left my SD with her grandmother.

Jodi - posted on 10/11/2013

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Can I ask, given you are step parent, what are the custody arrangements?

Shavonn - posted on 10/11/2013

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unfortunatlly we;ve tried that as well.. positive reinforcement doesnt seem to work.

Debbie - posted on 10/11/2013

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Forget it for a while, a week or weekend...than start the reward program..First give her a special jar...box ...something to put her reward in...
For each and everything she does positive, give her a quarter or a bead. If she says please or thank-you, if she helps someone or does a favor for some one give her a reward. If she goes to the bathroom give a reward for EVERY positive thing she does give her a reward..DO NOT take away I have had to do this with two grandchildren and it works...She need positive reinforcement and hugs and tell her stories of you when you were little...play game...then when her jar is full let her so pick a special place to go lunch, dinner, or pick a new toy,a special ice cream...I hope you get the idea if not ask questions ...

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