my step daughter wont call me by my name or anyone else in my family. we have a very loving relationship and she loves and adores my family. she tole me once when she was younger that her mom told her all our names are bad words and shes not allowed to say them or she will get in big trouble. its been 3 years... i am desperate to have her call me by my name, or at least her baby brother but she wont. any ideas??

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Lynette - posted on 12/29/2015

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Hi Stacey. I know that this is now a long time from when you posted but I wanted to know what happened with your family? My daughter lovingly called me "Nanette" since I met her and when my husband filed for custody, she stopped saying my name and has never said her sister's name (5 months old). She has told us several times that her Mom did not want her saying our names and that she would get in trouble if she did. I am so sad about the whole situation. I know she loves both her sister and I but I really want her to say our names. Just looking for advice/encouragement/support. Thank you.

Jaime - posted on 07/16/2012

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That's just not right :( I wish I knew what to say to help, but all you can do, you are already doing. I hope that one day she is able to get past all of this. Her mother is a complete asshole for what she has done!

Stacey - posted on 07/16/2012

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Sadly not all grown-ups are adults. Her mother is very immature, childish, bitter and angry. At what, we dont know! (She left him, twice so we dont understand all the agner). I try to encourage her. We all do. My oldest son is always trying to trick her into saying his name. She will just spell it. And she refers to her little brother as "The Baby". I'm "daddy's friend" or occasionaly "Princess Flower" lol as much as the nick names are cute, I just want to hear our own names :( We wanted to put her into counselling for that, as well as a few other issues we see, but we cant without her mothers consent, and she refuses to allow it.

Jaime - posted on 07/15/2012

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That is awful. I don't even know what to suggest apart from continuing to encourage her that it's okay to use your and your family's names. I am completely baffled by the fact that a grown-up would say and do such a thing to a young child, because it has obviously had the desired effect on her, and now it appears as though she's struggling between loyalties.

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