My step son is 24, with an excellent job, wonderful money and beneifts.

April - posted on 07/25/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My son believes that he should first get everything he wants, (he paying on a sports car, best cell phones, $3000 computer, and a second car.) He has stated he looking to buy a house, in a particular part of town, with no money down and all the bells and whistles in this home. Nothing to do with fixing up anything. He give approximately $120 a month, when we ask. This is when I have to push my partner is asking for it. We are very tight, We both had to restart our careers because of everything with the last decade going on. He comes and goes when he wants to. He does NOTHING around the house or yard. (Wait, he will wash the dish he eats out of) I have pushed and pushed. We are both in our 50's and I want it to be us. I'm not saying run but WOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.......

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Jodi - posted on 07/27/2013

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As I said, stop doing anything for either of them. You are not the maid. THAT might get their attention.

April - posted on 07/27/2013

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Help me, please ... It just keep going. Like I don't even be here. I really can't take much more. I love with all my heart. Yet, It doesn't matter what I say or feel. Cause, I feel that what I say or speak about is going through one ear and RIGHT OUT THE OTHER. He knows this and I beginning to feel disrespected from both... Help,,,

Jodi - posted on 07/26/2013

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In fact, adding to what I said, I would be making it as difficult as possible for him to live in my house. Eventually he will decide to move out.

Michelle - posted on 07/26/2013

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Just because he can't afford to buy a house doesn't mean he can't move out. That's why most people rent!
I would do what Jodi has suggested. Don't do anything for him. He's going to have to learn how to look after himself anyway.

Jodi - posted on 07/26/2013

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So what if he won't be able to afford a house if he moves out now! How is this YOUR problem?

Put your foot down with your husband. And STOP doing ANYTHING for your son, that includes feeding him, washing his clothes, ANYTHING. But seriously, he needs to move out now if he can't help out around your house.

April - posted on 07/26/2013

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I have tried with everything inside me. All this is doing is to lead us fighting. Me in tears and the other half has no idea. I being told that if he moves out know, he won't be able to afford to buy a house. I have tried to get him to cook be responsible for a MEAL. NOPE not good enough, that don't happen. Trash, ya when he here,,, sometimes when he not claiming he went to sleep.
I am not allowing it, my other half is. SUGGESTIONS,,, NEED HELP

Michelle - posted on 07/26/2013

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Well the other 2 ladies have said it all!!! As soon as I got my first job at 15 I had to pay board and help out around the house. I had to do my own washing and also had to cook the family meals a couple of times a week.
You have been allowing him to live like this so it's going to be hard to all of a sudden tell him to grow up. He's not going to like it because he's had a free ride until now. You may have a rocky relationship for a while until he realizes what a leech he has been.

Jodi - posted on 07/26/2013

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Why is he still living at home? Sorry, but at this age, if you are living in my house, you live there as a contributing adult, and that includes paying your board the minute you receive your paycheck, picking up after yourself, and helping with the household responsibilities/chores. You don't do that, and you are out. End of story. So....why is he living at home?

Dove - posted on 07/25/2013

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Go back in time about 6 years and put your foot down?

He is taking advantage of you because he knows you will allow it. It's past time to serve him with his eviction notice.

Personally I would have had a rental agreement drawn up years ago. If he can get multiple cars, a cell phone, and a $3000 computer (10x what mine cost me).... he can sure afford to pay full rent and utilities.... Stop coddling him and have him served. You can certainly set up a meeting and talk to him first, but it's high time for some tough love.

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