Linda - posted on 09/19/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )
I'm lost, confused, distraught and most of all upset. I love my fiancée with all of my heart, he is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me, but his oldest daughter who is 12 is tearing us apart. She is rude, lazy, disrespectful, manipulative, selfish, greedy, vindictive, and just mean. I have a daughter who just turned 10 from a previous relationship, and we're also raising my 9 year old nephew, together my fiancée and I have a one year old baby and he's also got a 10 year old as well, so altogether we have 5 children. The other children listen and do what they are told, my daughter may try to get lippy but I nip that in the bud right away, but nooooo not the oldest, she gets away with no chores, when all the other kids did and completed there's, and still gets to keep her brand new iPhone. Disrespects me and doesn't listen, then when she is told do something talks back to me the entire time she is doing it or just simply refuses, then when she gets her cell phone taken away she throws a fit and calls mommy who comes to her rescue. Just recently we moved into a new home and told ALL the kids to put their clothes away, they did, guess who didn't. She was asked numerous times to go downstairs and put bedroom away, and she kept saying she did, I go downstairs and absolutely nothing is put away, so of course I tell dad and we agree that she should have her cell phone taken away until it gets cleaned, here's the worst part, I had to beg her dad to make sure HE called her to tell her she was in trouble so I didn't have to do it, well of course he was busy at work so I had to tell her. I knew once I had to tell her we were taking her cell phone it was going to cause a huge fight, it's rediculous that I can't even tell her anything in fear of this. So now because she was told to put her clothes away it was the end of the world, of course while she's doing it I have to hear all her rude snide comments and what makes it worse is that my fiancée handicap brother lives with us AKA uncle comfort blanket, and I have to hear it from him too. He baby's just her, I can say anything to her in front of him because then I'm the mean one, cuz she has to clean her f****** room! Well when she finally finishes she comes up " my rooms clean can I get my phone back?" Um no not until your dad comes home. " well I want my phone so I can call my mom cuz I'm not staying here" " why because you had to clean your room?" Well of course super mom comes to her rescue, goes to grandmas house (dads mom, who doesn't even like the mom Btw) and talks shit about me, now the whole family is involved making me out to be this mean evil person and I'm sick of it, I'm tired of every time she doesn't get her way she calls mom and grandma and makes me out to be this evil stepmother who makes her do Cinderella chores, MY ASS! She manipulates everyone to be on her side and believe her BS, and I'm left here being stepped on becuAse she was asked for the 5th time to clean her room! My fear is that she is only 12 and this is going to get worse, dad is on my side and is trying but his efforts are not enough, I don't know what else we need to do, mom doesn't discipline her and lives like a pig herself so no wonder why she hates to clean but the talking back is where I draw the line, she's 12, and thinks she needs to be treated as an adult, if that were m daughter I'd whoop her ass and show her who is the adult and who is the child but that doesn't happen with mommy or mommy jr. When my daughter comes home from dads house and says she got spanked by her stepgrandpa, I don't baby her and take her side, I always say well if he had good enough reason to spank you then you probably deserved it, and that's that, I don't believe everything my kid says becuAse all kids see the world differently but that's too hard for super mommy cuz she looks for reasons to hate me. Sometimes for no reason at all my SD will tell my daughter rude mean hurtful things, constantly picking on her or finding things to tell her she is doing wrong or always trying to get her in trouble and I hate it. Other kids who come around don't even like her or want to play with her cuz she's mean, she's a big bully. I'm coming to my wits end here with this bratty selfish, spoiled little brat, but I'm not about to let her win and ruin my relationship with the best man I've ever met. I don't know what more to do, please help.