My stepson freaks out everytime he has to go back with mom!

Vanessa - posted on 02/26/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




HELP! I'm really worried and so is my honey. We share straight 50/50 custody (3 days one week, 4 days the next) with his ex-wife but every time she comes to pick up our 2 year old he flips out, cries, throws a tantrum, get angry, gets sad, begs, runs, hides, and pouts. Anything he can pretty much do to get away from going back home with her. He knows when Sunday rolls around that we are coming to pick him up and it never fails that he is waiting at the window waving ecstatically and smiling.

So far, the facts are:
*His not wanting to go with her
*Frequently coming to us sick or messy (we had to issue antibiotics for 3 months consistently for a myriad of things from the flu to diarrhea to ear infections and sinus infections)
*He's not one for lying and says that she's mean to him and hits him with a paddle - we discipline with light swats that are very rare and mostly for the emotional impact of not wanting to disappoint us but mostly time outs and explaining why wrong is wrong. He hardly ever acts out with us and is always a polite and perfect angel when out and about with me. He gets much more playful with dad around but is still a great listener.
*He frequently comes to us injured by her dogs, cat, had to go to the ER for a head wound and we understand that accidents happen but it's usually more serious and excessive.
*There was an incident with a boyfriend she had where she was arguing with the boyfriend and he shoved her in the driveway while she was holding our son. There were 3 witnesses, all who have agreed to be witnesses in court.
*She has had the cops called on her for potential animal abuse and noise ordinance abuse 3 times since she and my honey have split.
*Once our cousin saw her at Buffalo Wild Wings with our son and he was bawling and screaming uncontrollably.
*She's been through 4 lawyers since he left her because she doesn't agree with the 50/50 custody.

Our story:
*We do issue time outs and light rare swats.
*We have been late three times in paying half of his health insurance.
*One time we had a complaint from our neighbor that our dog was whining all night when we were out working but no cops were involved.
*He's been scratched by our cat a few times but she's a kitten and I trim her claws frequently. He likes to Elvira-style hug her.
*Never once, EVER has he thrown a tantrum or been upset with me in public. EVER. In a year and almost a half.

I swear I'm not being biased or exaggerating. This has all been over the course of a year and there's even more that she has done but this is the most relevant information to his welfare. What do you guys think?


View replies by

Anna - posted on 02/26/2013




Have you tried a teddy cam? Like that you can get proof and see exactly what is going on. You can also take him to see a psychologist/therapist ( I'm not sure which one) but 1 of them specializes in getting the truth out from any one even young kids. So if he/she talks to your step son and finds that he is more safe living with you she can be a witness in court and/or file a court order that he has to stay with you and you only. That's the best that I can suggest, I do hope she doesn't do anything to him or atleast not intentionally :(

Dove - posted on 02/26/2013




If he's been documenting all of this and has solid evidence.... have him get a lawyer and take it to court.

I do have to say that antibiotics won't do a thing for the flu and over use of antibiotics does a lot more harm than good. Other than that.... it sounds like your husband 'could' have a good case for full custody... IF he's been documenting these things and has solid proof (dates, times, pictures, police reports, witnesses, etc...).

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