My Stepson, the master mind manipulator

Chantel - posted on 01/04/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 13y old stepson bullies my 10y old & sometimes my 6y old.(he hits them with his fists) Up untill now my fiance use to sort it out, & told my son to come & tell him immediately in future. the last 3 times my fiance did nothing about it. for the last 2 years all was going well, but now my fiance and me got to the ýour son, my son"phase. my son is academically strong. Ive never treated his son bad cause of the fact that I now that he needs a mother too & i must say that i can see a positive difference in his school activities even his academics as well. nowadays my sons get quick hidings for their wrong doings but his son only gets verbal warnings. what should i do???? im at the point of leaving him. it used to be fair play.

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Dove - posted on 01/06/2016

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Your boys don't deserve to be hit... by anyone in that home. Make it a rule that no one hits... period. Anyone that hits will lose any and all privileges (literally everything except an outfit to wear, some books to read, and paper/pencils) for 24-48 hours for a first offense.

Raye - posted on 01/06/2016

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If you're going to try to stick it out a while, my only suggestion is consistent and strict punishments for the hitting. Let him know it absolutely will not be tolerated. Keep taking away privileges until he demonstrates a better way of expressing himself and stops the hitting.

Chantel - posted on 01/06/2016

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He has this denial attitude about whatever he is asked so I'll ask him why and he'll just say "I don't know".Other than the bullying he's mostly well mannered towards me and always helpfull. He's got so much potential but a huge lack of motherhood in his life. at his age it's difficult to teach him about caring and love. also I have a little 3 old girl of who his father is extremely fond of and very protective of and i don't know if that might be the problem. I really care about my stepson but i don't know how to get through to him. his dad has always worked long hours so there;s a big lack of communication skill with him. But yes, you just confirmed what i was thinking - I won't stay in a relationship at the cost of my own children. My husband was murdered 3years ago and my kids have had enough heartache. I'll try one more time and give it a month or so, if all fails I'll pack up.

Raye - posted on 01/04/2016

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There is absolutely no reason why the 13 y/o should be hitting anyone. Has anyone asked him why and tried to teach him better ways of dealing with his frustration? You should have a really long talk with your fiancé about the blending of your two families, and consistent rules and punishments for ALL kids. If you both can't agree and don't both follow through with the agreement, then you should definitely rule out marriage and possibly end the relationship. If it can't be fixed now, it will only get worse. While his boy may need the positive influence you provide, you can't do that at the expense of your own children.

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