Russ - posted on 11/25/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )
I am 32 and have a toddler girl. My 14 year old cousin confessed to me this weekend that she is sexually active. She has a 17 year old boyfriend and said they have had sex once...in addition on her 14th birthday she had sex with another boy ( which was her first time). She claims to have used a condom both times. She also asked me to help her get birth control. I was shocked and so sad to know my baby cousin who in my mind is still a little girl is sexually active already. I am glad she feels like she can talk to me but I am a mother of a little girl and feel I have a responsibility to take action. I made it clear to her that I could not get birth control for her and gave her all of the advice I could regarding the importance of trying to hold out, std's.... In addition I implored her to speak with her parents that as scary as it feels that they will eventually calm down and do what will be best for her future. She freaked out bc she does not have a good relationship with her mother and is afraid her dad would hurt the boys ( he is a couch and teacher at their school). I need advice....I know I have to tell her parents, my fear is that they will go nuts ( understandably so) and because she has a strained relationship with them will rebel even more and she will not come to me anymore. Ultimately becoming more rebellious and then no one will able to guide her. I do not have a close relationship with my aunt ( her mom) or my uncle so I can't anticipate what they do. I am more inclined to go to my uncle ( he is my moms brother and he is closer with his daughter). Part of me hopes that he will take it as a major wake up call and start PARENTING her but not let on that I told him. This is not because I am worried what she will think of me...I do not need to be cool to her I just don't want her life to be ruined and if she has no one she feels she can confide in... Then what? She is beautiful, sweet, an honor student and talented athlete with an amazing life ahead of her. Please help....what do I do???