My teenage son is interested in nothing except video games

Maureen - posted on 07/21/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi, I just joined Circle of Moms because I am so confused about what to do to help my 14 year old boy. It just seems like all he cares about and wants to do is play video games. He seems to be lacking social skills and never has any friends over or goes to anyone's house. I know he hasnfriends at school and I have encouraged him to invite friends over or to do something with them. He actually said that it is gay to ask a friend to come over or do something. He even told me one of the friends said something to him about doing something outside of school, but he Joey never did anything about it. It's like he goes to school, comes home, and just wants to play games. We have. Started to connect the games to his grades since his grades weren't too good. So for the end of last year he didn't have his games but he still sat on his cell phone all the time. I think when he is on the cell phone he is watching youtube videos of other kids playing games. I was hoping when we got him a cell phone recently he would use it to communicate with friends. He said he never even got his friends cell phone numbers because it would be gay to ask for them. I am just so worried he is never going to be able to interact in the real worls. He is not interested in sports. He was in Tar Quan Do and he actually got to the belt before his black belt and then he just gave up. He continued going for over a year and he just never had the motivation or confidence to test for his black belt. We finally just took him out of it, even though I hated to do that because I was worried that that just teaches him to give up when things get tough. But the financial part was just too much and I was tired of taking him when he didn't even care. I have bee reading some things and suggestions that I need to make him go out of his comfort zone and do something socially or he can't have the games or the phone. I am just so worried because he starts high school this year and I don't want him going all through high school like this. How do I help him when I know a lot of it is because he is shy. How do I make him be motivated and care about other things besides games? I would appreciate any advice.

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Maureen - posted on 07/21/2014

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Jodi, I agree I need to limit the cell phone too. I know he can play some little games on it, but not like the ones he plays on his laptop. As far as the Tae Quan do, that was a really hard decision, but ultimately his heart was just not in it. He said he didn't care if he never got a black belt and that he knew he would never get it. He was always making excuses not to go and would only practice when I made him and then it was just lackluster like he wasn't even trying. I was feeling like it was my goal, not his. I told him he had to exercise with me at home and he has been doing that when I make him but he is pretty lazy about it. I do plan on talking to the school counselor when school starts and hopefully she can help.

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2014

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So, let me get this straight, you limit his computer games but you still allow him to sit on his cell phone all the time. Of course he sits playing games on it. Limit that too. I guarantee he is doing more than watching Youtube videos of other kids playing games.

Secondly, I'm not quite understanding how taking him out of an activity is NOT showing him that he should quit when things get tough. You are complaining he never does anything, but you take him out of the one thing he was doing that was constructive? So what if he doesn't want to go for black belt. He was enjoying it, right?

Have you had him speak to the school counsellor about his friendship/social issues? It may be worth him having some counselling so that you can help him identify any issues.

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