my teenager has moved in with his dad, it is killing me

Cathy - posted on 08/27/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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my son started staying more and more in his dads over the summer, now school is starting again and i got a phone call from his dad ( we have split 14years ago) saying hes staying with him and he wants me to give up all parental rights to him, i am sick to my stomach, so hurt, he proceded to say, I NEED MY RENT PAID!.. this would help to get me some rent paid, and he has my son standing up for him saying poor daddy needs help moneywise...i recieve the benifits for my son but also work 16hours on minimum wage..i cant believe this is happening, i cant sleep or eat and feel so depressed..any advice?...he is 16 so able to make his own mind up...i never recieved any child support from his dad although he has been a good dad 2 him and his brother who is 2 years older...x

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Dove - posted on 08/27/2015

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What do your court orders say? You do not need to give up your parental rights in order for your child to live w/ his father. If you receive government benefits for your child they need to be aware that your child is not in your home any longer... but that doesn't automatically mean his father will get the benefits (if you are in the US... no clue on other countries). The father would have to apply and be approved on his own.

You will be obligated to pay child support if your son is living w/ his father, BUT... I would tell his father to take it to court if he wants to receive child support and once the support order is in place (which should take both of your incomes into account)... then you will pay what is ordered. Until that time if you DO give any money for your son's care... make sure it is traceable, so you have it as evidence that you have provided something.

Dove - posted on 08/27/2015

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As for the emotional repercussions of having your child choose to live elsewhere... TONS of ♥

Sarah - posted on 08/27/2015

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You don't need to give up your parental rights to your son no matter where he lives. If you get government assistance for your son, that money goes to the one paying for your son's needs. If you were the primary custodial parent, why didn't you get child support?

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Sarah - posted on 08/29/2015

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How were you able to get government child support assistance without applying for support from his father? He is just as obligated as you to support his child and it really should not fall to the taxpayers.

Sarah - posted on 08/29/2015

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How were you able to get government assistance without at least applying for support from his dad? If his father had any financial income then he should have been paying to help his son, not solely the taxpayers and yourself.

Cathy - posted on 08/28/2015

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i do not recieve child support from the father, its goverment child support which i recieve

Cathy - posted on 08/28/2015

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we have never went to court dave, i really dont want to put my son through that and they know how much i adore him i wouldnt do it. thanks for the advice im a little bit more hopefull today.

Cathy - posted on 08/28/2015

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hi sarah i do get child support for my son, i am the one who gets him all he needs, clothes, shoes money for his pocket, the money is not the issue for me its the fact that i know why his dad is doing this so that he will be better off financially. He has never paid child support we were never married. thanks..ill have to grin and bear it, hes 16 i cant force him to stay. thanks everyone, and dave

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