my three year old daughter spends alternate weekends with her dad but every time she comes back she is less and less like her self she acts out and starts biting and hitting me and my partner she says her daddy has told her we are going to hurt her cause she has been to his house when ever she sees him she clings on to me and begins screaming so it has been arranged that he collects her from school on his week ends how ever still if he passes us in the street or in the park she grabs me and begins to cry, when she first come back from her dads she is also extremely unsettled and wont go to bed or anything it usually takes 2-3 days to get her back in to a healthy bedtime routine again but this week when she returened she wouldnt settle and kept saying you make me go to daddys and i dont like him what have i done wrong i reall;y dont no what to do she hasnt seen him for a week now and still is refusing to settle and is still clingy and hitting out at times.

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Krista - posted on 08/17/2012

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Michelle's advice is good. It's normal for a kid to be unsettled and out of sorts after a change in routine. But to show such stark terror of her dad? Something's not right.

Michelle - posted on 08/17/2012

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I would be scheduling an appointment with a child psycologist who specializes in preschoolers tell her your concerns and let her talk to your daughter get to the bottom of the fears. Her dad may lose access if he is saying nasty things to your daughter but she needs to reveal these things to a professional and it needs to not be coerced by you take the right steps to find out why she is this way. I agree with Katherine my kid doesn't want to go to his dads either but his issue is going to dads interferes with his social life and nothing more so I still make him go.

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Claire - posted on 08/17/2012

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I've tried everything but all I get from solicitors n court officials is he has rights do children not have rights I've tried to involve caffcass as no one even nos where he is taking her only wat he says but they have Ben out to my house in his visit from court he turned up at there office so they never saw his home

Dove - posted on 08/17/2012

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I agree with Michelle entirely. My kid also doesn't like going to his dad's, but it's only because he can't take me with him.... He absolutely LOVES his dad and spending time with him.... just not happy about the being away from Mommy part.

Something is going on here and I would not rest until I got to the bottom of it.

Claire - posted on 08/17/2012

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That is wat concerns me her reaction when she sees him I've never known anything like it but he says she is ok when she's alone with him but she refuses to call him dad and calls him by his name

Claire - posted on 08/17/2012

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That is wat concerns me her reaction when she sees him I've never known anything like it but he says she is ok when she's alone with him but she refuses to call him dad and calls him by his name

Claire - posted on 08/17/2012

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we are still in court procedings at the moment as he thinks she will be better off and it is in her best interest for her to live with him although he has no where for her to sleep and at the moment she is sharing his room it is a nightmare at the moment as my lil angel is scared to go places like the park incase he turns up she only likes to play in the house i have tried everything to settle her and tell her all the time im not gonna let anyone hurt her i never have done and im not gonna start now and how much i love her, this does temporarly work but after a while she says shes scared again and i dnt understand how one man can be so hostile with his own child why would anyone want a child to be unhappy

Katherine - posted on 08/17/2012

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That's intense! I mean my kids come home a mess from their dad's too. It's takes a few days for me to re-adjust them, but they never come home like that. You have done nothing wrong, it sounds like he is poisoning her mind. I have heard this a lot from other moms. You may want to change the divorce decree.

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