Ann - posted on 09/14/2013 ( 102 moms have responded )
First off, I want to say that as a mother - meaning the one who gave birth, I am strangely (ironically) unable to find many supportive post to mothers (of my kind). There are pages and pages of posts in support of step-moms - asserting their "rights" and what do do about the "evil mom," any way it's bizarre to me.
Anyway, my situation is: dad snuck around with my "best friend" for several months behind my back, of course - after SHE told me (the nerve) that he was attracted to her, and that she would "never do anything to severely fuck over a friend." Come to find out, she had been preparing the ground (listening to my ever woe about the relationship, including our love life woes (I was not feeling it at all post child-birth), his trust fund..., just waiting for hte chance to snake in... Anyway, I despise this woman... and it's been two years now. He left us when my son was just one, and has done very very little, only the minimum and only because if he didn't he would lose his Greencard (Dutch guy). Very lazy, very pampered man who only wants his son if he can be handed to him on a silver platter. Basically, this woman, who I think I've made it clear I despise (did I mention she has about 20 self-help books and numerous gurus and cannot eat a meal without blessing it with some blessed metal crystal thingamagjig) is paranoid, possessive and neurotic. And has manipulated my son's father into thinking that his rights go above his duties. Basically, because (they just got married - he needed his Greencard because the work visa was unable to be renewed for a third time - and somehow now that they are married I'm supposed to embrace her?) I did not want her to be around my son. She has disrespected me tremendously - and does any of this even matter? I have always encouraged my son's dad to be in his life, yet he has refused to visit or see Bastien at all unless he can take him home to this very important woman. We finalized a consent decree and all he asked for was 3 days a month! And only if I do half the driving. This man has a trust fund worth hundreds of thousands, which allows him to work at a health spa making next to nothing, and paying next to nothing in child support, while I bust my balls giving my son everything (almost all of my income spent on the best education, not paid for by his father, toys, etc., while I have 5 pairs of underwear).
Anyway, the dad didn't even bother to tell me about the wedding, and by the way, they are already married, there is just a ceremony, with his family flying in, etc. He wants our son to be there. I obviously don't. Child is only 3. He has yet to learn about death and the afterlife, let alone, marriage and love. I do not want him to bless this wedding. Call me crazy. To the father, he is just an accessory. Dad doesn't come to his dance performances or soccer games. Can't be bothered. Any one out there feel me? Can't I just say no?