Sepide - posted on 08/11/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hi, I have a 2 and half year old daughter. my husband left us 8 months ago to be with another woman. I agreed for him to see E 3 times a week including a full Sat or Sunday. He was smoking cannabis heavily and became aggressive, swearing in front of E and mistreating me in front of her, shouting and being abusive. it got so bad I didn't feel safe with him at home ,so asked him to see E in a different environment and until he stops or cuts down use of cannabis I insisted on supervised contact. His first reaction was to refuse it so he didn't see her for 2 months, finally he agreed, he didn't like it but didn't do anything about the drug use. So he was only seeing her 2 hrs a week in a sure start centre. after another couple of months we ended up in family court, he took a drug test and proved he has cut down. so I agreed to unsupervised contact and he started seeing her 2 times a week, 4 hrs on saturday and 1.5 hrs one evening after work. this recently increased to 5 hrs and will increase to 6 soon. since this new plan started my daughter started refusing to see him, go to him or doesn't even want him to touch her. she cries and screams, tells me before hand she doesnt want to go with him, and afterwards she is not cheered up at all. as soon as I say she's going to see daddy she stops whatever she was doing and becomes nervous. He also picked her up ftomorrow nursery couple of times and E didn't want to go to nursery, again che and screams and not playing with children and not talking which was really not her usual behaviour and staff were surprised too.
Now, I dont know what to make of this, I dont want to ignore the problem, as she has been forced to go with her dad every time and she is getting worse. I also dont trust him at all. he didn't change her nappy for 5 hrs, fed her ice cream and sweets instead of food and she never gets to have her nap when she is with him. so she is nackered. I've given him her routine but he ignores it. he's had other odd and abnormal behaviours as well in the past and lies all the time.
do I need to be concerned about her well being? and where can I get advice and guidance face to face?