My Troubled Teenage Daughter

Jenny - posted on 06/12/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi my name is Jenny and I have 2 teenage kids. My daughter is 15 and blames me for everything! She says that she doesn't have a mom cuz I don't do anything with her but heres the thing I am unemployed and don't have the money to go anywhere to do anything. So all I do is sit around my house and watch tv or movies. She doesn't give me any ideas on things to do without spending money. My ex (her dad) gives me grief cuz I don't do anything with them and blames that on my mother cuz that is how our relationship was when I was a kid. My son is 18 and all he does is stay up all night and play xbox. His dad (both kids have the same dad) also blames that on him not graduating this year. Seems like all my daughter and I do is argue all the time when she is with me. She smokes cigarettes in the house and puts them out in the window sill or on her dresser. Im afraid she is goin to burn down my house one of these days. She takes my things and doesn't ask if she can have them. She goes places she is not aloud to go for example...the garage. I don't like to accuse her of doin these things but she lies to me so much I don't know when to believe her. Please...I need some advice on what to do with this child! I am at my wits end with her

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Jenny - posted on 06/12/2014

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Im sorry I ever joined this site! Will never happen again! You ppl are just plain mean!

Tanya - posted on 06/12/2014

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Hi,

I have a few questions:

Why is a 15 year old playing with gasoline...she should be old enough to know not to play with that...I'm totally confused here.

The reason you may feel like your being picked on is because of what you have said...this really shocked me : I have all the right to sit on my ass! I deserve to be lazy if I wanna be!! I worked my ass of in a sweat shop for 14 years! I deserve a break!

You deserve a break but once you have children...you don't usually get to check out. I'm sorry.

Even if you don't wear make up have your daughter give you a make over...there are so many things you can do that don't cost money...I go to the book store and read magazine's while my daughter plays with the toys...lol... I browse the mall (I don't buy but I daydream about buying it), I go to free events of my community, I go to friend's houses, you can start gardening, or reorganize your house and have her help you, bake together, cook together, scrapbook together with free nature stuff...etc.

You can't stop being a mom...

Ev - posted on 06/12/2014

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No one is bashing you and you are on an international site. You are going to get a lot of responses you will not like. But if you could read your post from our view points, when only so much info is put there, that is all people have to go on to answer you with. Its not meant to bash you. But it does sound like from what you say, your daughter does walk all over you in her expressions of disgust about not having money to go do things. And having consequences sometimes is just not enough...she needs to hear if from you that you do not like the tone of her voice or words and how she acts when talking to you and until she can talk to you nicely, you do not want to hear it from her. All of us mothers here have worked ourselves to the bone at one point or another to provide for our kids even to the point of working a lot of hours to do so. We can understand working long hours for little pay. But at the same time, you have to find that way to make her accountable for her words, actions, and what not. And as for your son, I understand what you feel for him...I feel the same way for my kids...but if you enable him to stay home and play games all the time, its not doing him any good. He needs to go out there and learn how to live on his own. You will not be there for him or even her forever. That is why you give them the best of your know how growing up so they can be the best adults they can be.

Jenny - posted on 06/12/2014

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You know...if I knew ppl were gonna gang up on me on this website I never would have joined! Your not helping by bashing me!!

Ev - posted on 06/12/2014

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Jenny,

From the way your post sounds your daughter does walk all over you. And Shawnn is right. Its time for your son to either find some way to contribute or move on. I do not know how you have internet if you have no income coming in let alone the necessities to keep going. So, you can not find a job in your immediate area, have you thought about trying another location. And just because you worked yourself to the bone in a sweat shop does not mean you stop working because you still have a daughter to support until she is 18. Where is the dad in all this? Have you asked him to help out or do you get child support? And we can not know all the things going on unless you tell us them. We can only go by what is posted.

Jenny - posted on 06/12/2014

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Yeah I have tried those things they are not good enough for her!! She wants me spend money!! I don't wear makeup so I know nothing about it! I have all the right to sit on my ass! I deserve to be lazy if I wanna be!! I worked my ass of in a sweat shop for 14 years! I deserve a break! I do enforce the rules but she don't care if she gets things taken away from her or not aloud to go anywhere. My son has been looking for a job as have I and no one is hiring. Im not goin to kick him out hes my son and Im gonna help him out anyway I can...wouldn't you for ur child? I have locks everywhere they are not supposed to be. No my garage is not attached to my house and I don't want her in there cuz she takes things and plays with gasoline I use for my lawnmowers!! Don't advise shit if you don't know the whole situation! Sounds like ur one of those ppl that is just on here to be mean to ppl and that's not right!! And yes I consider gasoline to be hazardess if she is setting it on fire!! Know the facts before you assume shit!!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/12/2014

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Things to do that don't cost money:
Take a walk
Go to the park
Go to a lake
Play a board game, card game, ANY game that doesn't involve electronics
Have a 'girls night' with makeup, the whole 'nine'

And that's just off the top of my head. Get your ass off the couch and start doing things, ANY things.

Start enforcing some consequences on your 15 yo when she misbehaves. Your son's already not graduated, but he's 18, so he can get a job since he has so much time to game. He can also start paying room and board, because that's what adults do to survive. If he doesn't want to do that, fine...show him the door. Enforce rules and limits in your home.

And this one is really killing me: "She goes places she's not aloud (sic) to go for example...the garage"...What's wrong with her going to the garage? It's attached to the house, isn't it? You aren't keeping anything illegal, immoral, or hazardous in there, are you?

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