My twelve year old doesn't like me anymore

Kelly - posted on 09/27/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I think its safe to say my daughter doesn't like me anymore. She is quick to ask for money, new clothes and her driver to dance 5 days a week. We used to be so close and its heart breaking, My mother said I was the same way. Anyone in the same boat as me?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/27/2015

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Your 12 YO is entering the heavy hormonal stage. WE ALL do. Its ok to remind her that she's being an ungrateful brat, and it's OK to tell her NO!
She doesn't HAVE to have money, a ride to dance class, or new clothing beyond what is necessary for her schooling. She doesn't HAVE to have a social life. When she becomes that oh so bratty kid, you are the parent, and you have to shut her down.
We're not here to be our kids BFF. We're here to make sure we're creating responsible human beings who can be self sufficient, not a drain on society, and a contributing human being.
Your mother said you went through the same phase. Did you hate or dislike your mother? Or did you think she was overbearing, etc. Did you overcome that, and realize that she was being a parent? Your daughter will too. Like she said, we all go through this.
The key is for YOU not to change. Keep to your rules and discipline, and stop thinking that by giving in, she's going to be better. Giving in only creates more demands and entitlement.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/27/2015

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And, Kelly...It doesn't last forever, I promise! My kids are grown now...they do remove their heads from their rectums! ;-)

Jodi - posted on 09/27/2015

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Yep, I agree with the others. If my 12 year old was being an obnoxious brat, she'd be having a hard time getting all those things. She has to learn you can't be nasty or mean to people and then expect they will do for you.

Sarah - posted on 09/27/2015

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Well said Shawnn! We do just need to stay PARENTS not buddies or friends, it's hard because you want your child to like you. You got that reward from infancy thru age 12 and you will get it again after she is an adult. From now (12 to 18+) you get to put up with them tolerating your existence and you guide them thru this very tough transition to adulthood. Raising successful adults will be your greatest achievement in life! It starts now....

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