My Two Daughters are Being Forced to Wear Diapers by Their Aunt While They Are Staying With Her During My Cruise; What Should I do?

[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )

Alright so, basically me and my husband decided to celebrate our two year anniversary by going on a month long cruise vacation. Before heading out, we decided to leave our two daughters (Anna 4, and Sarah 3 1/2) with their Aunt who has a three and a half year old daughter mainly because she's the only person we know who lives in the same state who we trust. Anyways, the last time we left our two children there they were three and, two and a half years old. They were basically potty trained at that point so I told her that they were, well.... While we left them over there, my youngest daughter Sarah, had a accident at night a short time before heading to bed and, my other daughter Anna had a accident on her couch while watching Cinderella with the other two girls almost a day later. I received a call in the middle of the night from their Aunt and spent thirty minutes on the phone with her explaining to me that my two daughters were not fully potty trained and that my oldest daughter ruined her $2,000 couch. She then told me that from then on, if I wanted my kids to stay with her they're going to have to wear diapers. I told her that, that'd be fine and she could go ahead and diaper them and apologized to her about what happened, so she ended up doing so for the rest of the weekend. Well, when I was dropping the kids off I started to hand her everything she needed such as the kids clothes and toys. I told her where everything was while the kids ran inside to play and, at the end she asked me where I put their diapers at. I was a bit confused and asked her what she meant. She started to remind me about the last time my kids stayed at her house and how she said that if they were going to stay with her again they needed to wear diapers. I proceeded to tell her that I didn't bring any diapers and that, that was a year ago and they're potty trained now she was very skeptical at first, but I finally convinced her they were potty trained (obviously it went without saying that they do have occasional accidents, but rarely ever). Anyways, she replied with "Alright awesome!" While my kids were playing, along with her daughter, me and her caught up for a bit before I headed out. Well, a couple days in my daughter Anna apparently ended up wetting the bed a little bit. She calls me and asks me what happened and said "I thought you said they were potty trained?!" I continued to tell her that they were and that, it happens to even the most potty trained of kids their age. She sounded really frustrated and said, "Alright, alright" and hung up the call. Well, later that night this time my daughter Sarah, had a accident in her car on the way to get ice cream. She called me the next morning and told me that she can't have them continuously having accidents and that, she was putting them back in diapers again. I swore to her that, this type of stuff usually never happens and, she ended up hanging up. I texted her about ten minutes later telling her I was sorry about all the inconveniences that my daughters' accidents were creating and asked her not to put my children in diapers and that if it happened again she could. She texted me back with "Mhm." then with "... But I'm shopping right now so I can't talk right now" so I figured she meant alright so I left it alone. I guess that wasn't the case because when I called her to Skype with my children about a hour later I was talking to my youngest daughter and I started to hear my daughter Anna mumbling to her aunt saying "but I needa' go potty right now" and from what I heard (it was very quiet due to them being a bit too far from the computer) her aunt responding with "it's okay honey, you can go potty anytime you want now if you need to now" and once again my daughter replied with "okay". I later saw my daughter Anna behind her running around and, playing with her daughter. I could her loud crinkling noises coming from her diaper but didn't know if she has one on for sure so I didn't say anything. When I asked her to come to the computer and say high to mommy she was just standing there behind her sister with a blank expression on her face looking at the wall for a little while. I didn't know what was going on until her daughter ran back up to her about twenty minutes after I asked her to come say high while she was playing with her doll, halted for a brief moment and ran to her mom giggling and shouting at the same time saying "mommy, Anna, smells stinky" and her mom replied with "Oh, Anna has a poopy' butt?" and her daughter replied laughingly with a very loud "Yeah, hahaha!". She then walked up to my daughter and said to her "Anna sweetie did you go poopy' in your diapy'?" and my daughter nodded. She then started to say "it's okay, it's okay" kneeled over and grabbed her by the waste and started to lift her up and said "let's get you a fresh diapy' and you'll feel all better okay?" As she lifted her up, I could see the diaper under her skirt. I was in such shock, I couldn't believe it, I kinda just sat there for a second and continued speaking to my daughter Sarah as usual and just acted as if I didn't see or hear it. I hung up a short while later and here I am. What should I do?! There's no-one else able to take them other than her!

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Sarah - posted on 11/15/2014

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I find this post odd as this same poster was asking what other words besides pee or poop she could use when asking her child if she soiled her diaper as she did not want to keep checking her child's diaper to see if it was soiled. Why would the poster be asking this question if her children are potty trained?

Lindie - posted on 11/15/2014

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You probably won't like this, but I would go home. She is obviously not someone who you can trust to care for your children. Young children need constant reminding and taking to the toilet. They do not need to be in a situation where they are at best having their progress reversed and at worst humiliated and emotionally scared. Yes that messes up your cruise, but you know what most people have a cruise to celebrate honeymoons or the kids moving out, so maybe look at it as just a little to soon and postpone for now and for the next few years just go for a nice meal or a show and be available for your children.

Dove - posted on 11/16/2014

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You guys are good detectives.... I'm thinking there maybe ARE no kids and it's just a person obsessed w/ diapers and potty issues.... Especially considering the account is now deleted.

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Michelle - posted on 11/15/2014

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Good pick up Sarah, I also noticed it's the same poster that is asking about the swimming diapers and should the pool make her put them on.
I don't think her children are toilet trained at all because some of her other posts are asking about toilet training a 4yo!

Chet - posted on 11/15/2014

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This sounds odd. A child who is borderline trained might start using a diaper again, but a four year child who has been solidly potty trained for over a year would generally reject a diaper.

A diaper catching an accident in the car when a child just can't hold it in any longer, or catching a bed wetting accident when a child is away from home, sure.. but a four year old pooping in a diaper while they're playing after they've been sitting on the toilet to do it for a year??? That's really surprising.

I've known a couple people who attempted to put a diaper on a potty trained preschooler in an emergency and they didn't accept it so readily.

I suppose it doesn't matter though. The other posters are right. The only choices you have are to end your trip early to fly home and collect your children, or wait until the cruise ends and deal with the fallout from this.

Michelle - posted on 11/15/2014

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I'm with Dove. You wanted to go away for a month and you knew what happened last time.
You either go home and cut your holiday short or carry on and deal with it when you get back. She already told you what she would do if they had an accident.
I would have taken the children with you. Cruise ships are child friendly and it would have been the best time as a family.

Dove - posted on 11/15/2014

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I never, ever would have left my children for a MONTH in the first place. I get celebrating your anniversary... but a weekend (or less) would have been much more appropriate... especially at your children's ages and the fact that you have no one reliable to leave them with. There is no way in the world I would have left my children w/ that woman and would absolutely be getting back to my children as soon as humanly possible.

You put your children in this position... either stop it right now or deal w/ the 'fall out' when you get back... though expect to have to re potty train them.

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