my wife cant get over my affair

Noeh - posted on 08/31/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




She caught me hitting on other women askn them for their number .....i feel she wants to do the same ...


Adirondack - posted on 08/31/2014




When you are married, the only woman that you should be looking at or feel wanted by is your wife. You shouldn't even be looking at other women, hitting on them or asking for their numbers You are a married man yet acting like you are single.

Just because you feel she wants to do the same, doesn't mean it's true. I think you are feeling that way out of guilt because you know you are wrong. I think you feel that if she felt the same way, it would somehow validate what you are doing.

The bottom line is, if you love your wife then stop doing what you are doing and show her you love her. Prove to her that she is the only woman you want. She doesn't trust you and who can blame her?


View replies by

Angela - posted on 09/01/2014




Adirondack Mom - I don't believe he wants advice - he wants justification!

He's wanting us to say that yes, she'd like to stray too and then he feels if he lets her do it then he can do it again!

If she can't get over his affair, why on earth would she want to do further fundamental damage to their marriage by having one herself? Of course she doesn't!! He's looking for an easy way to get out of his own guilt whilst at the same time providing him with an excuse to stray again.

Noeh, if I'm wrong please get back on here and tell us more!!

Angela - posted on 08/31/2014




She doesn't want to do the same - but I suspect YOU want her to do so in order to "even up" the score so she'll maybe stop giving you a hard time and turn a blind eye the next time you stray.

When you're married you make vows to the exclusion of all others. You've broken those vows. For some reason she's still with you despite having every right to divorce you and sue you for every penny you earn. I don't know if you have kids? Maybe she wants to keep the family together?

If she's forgiven you or at least put your cheating ways to one side and not left you, then you need to take a long, hard look at yourself! You should be humbly asking for her forgiveness and doing everything you can to reassure her that she's the one who counts and not going near other women - certainly not asking them for their numbers!

Cheating men whose wives forgive them and don't leave them need to be "transparent". This means you have to let your wife see what you're up to, let her examine your phone, constantly remind her that you love her and you're sorry you messed up and any time you're late or delayed you have to let her know and give a full explanation of yourself. You must also cut ALL contact with any female you have behaved inappropriately with.

That's how you deal with a spouse who's feeling betrayed that you cheated!

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