my x husband wont allow our children to attend councelling, what do i do next?

Geraldine - posted on 08/27/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




we have joint custody, i was told by a judge that i cannot make decisions for my children unless we both as parents agree , but anything i want for the children my xhusband says no too, soccer camps , holidays , sport , and councelling , does any other mother out there have any advice what do i do next?


Jodi - posted on 08/27/2013




Go back to court and explain it to the judge. I had much the same issue with my ex, and he was even refusing to sign the papers for the school I was trying to enrol my son in. I ended up having to file in court to have the court order that I could enrol him without his signature. In these end, my ex never even bothered showing up in court, so the magistrate gave me full 100% legal guardianship to make all long term decisions for my son because clearly my ex was playing games. I hadn't even been asking for 100% guardianship - just permission to enrol him in his school.

Basically, I would suggest that you have absolute evidence of his refusal to co-operate, and if it is interfering with your children's best interests, take it back to court.

Kelly is right, he can only refuse permission for holidays, camps, sport if it interferes with his visitation. I can see why you need his permission if it does interfere with visitation, but not otherwise. Things like school enrolment, medical (i.e. counselling), major long-term decisions, you would need his agreement.


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Geraldine - posted on 08/27/2013




Thank you both so much for getting back so soon,I had the school issue too Jodi , I moved away and enrolled both my children in the localsschool which was five minutes away . I have the boys during the week for school , my x husband wanted them to travel every morning back out to the school they were attending regardless of where we where living after our separation , I wasn't aware at the time I couldn't move the boys til I was brought into court and the judge ordered them to leave their new school and sent them back to their old , when my 13 year old was due to start secondary school my x husband insisted I travel 50 minutes to the secondary school every morning which meant dragging both boys out of their beds in the winter , to a bus stop my son would do a further 20 minute journey , then turn around drive my youngest son to his school and sit outside the school til it was open. It was not fair on any one of us . A third party was called in and he decided it was best he would attend school where he was living , my son expressed other feelings he had about his dad and his partner and her four children which his dad got to read in the report he was furious and hasn't spoken to my eldest boy in one year , my youngest boy doesn't want to be in his dad's house either but still wants to see his dad but his dad won't do this unless he comes to his house , I get my son to call him he cuts him short he won't come see him , now he says it's my fault and he's bringing me back into court to say I'm keeping his son from him but nothing about the eldest boy,6 years on we should be friends by now he fights me on every little thing I can't do this much longer

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As long as you are paying for it without his help, and it is done on your time, I don't see how the judge can force you to get his permission for things like sports and day camps. Holidays should be fine as well as long as you are not leaving the state or country.

I do know that judges can order medical decisions to require both parents, and counseling would definitely fall under that category. Do you have a lawyer? Can you ask the judge to order counseling? He or she should order it if you can prove it will benefit the children.

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