My youngest daughter is half black and her hair is hard to keep brushed....

Tonya - posted on 12/23/2008 ( 24 moms have responded )

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She is very tender headed and her hair is fairly long and brushing her hair always turns into a fight. She hates to have it brushed. I have tried all the lotions and oils and I use tons of conditioner when I wash her hair I just haven't found the right product or maybe the right way to do her hair. Does anyone have any suggestions to make keeping her hair pretty not such a battle?

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Wendy - posted on 12/24/2008

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First, stop brushing. You need to comb her hair with a wide tooth comb. How often are you washing? Use products that are made for her hair. Condition, condition condition and moisturize. Wash once a week with a conditioning shampoo. Then follow with a moisturizing detangler. Kids Organics makes a great product, and you cn mix the detangler with water in a spray bottle for touching up and weekly combing.
Finally please don't say things like you have to do something to mke her hair pretty. It is already beautiful, you just are learning the tools, and teaching her how to keep it maintained and well kempt. There are a heap of issues surrounding hair, and the sooner you can insure your daughter knows her hair is beautiful, the better. HTH

Zee - posted on 01/18/2009

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Take your child to an African American hair salon and ask for a consultation. I deal with many mixed children in my line of work and the older ones LOVE to go to a black hair salon to get their hair done....mostly braided. Carol's Daughter Hair Milk is pricey, but the hair products are great. I use them on my children. I agree with everyone else, DO NOT relax your child's hair. There is no need for that if you take the time to educate yourself. :-)

Wendy - posted on 12/24/2008

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Not to be contentious but please please please do not put a relaxer in your child's hair. I am not anti - process, but chemically processing hair requires an enormous amount of proper care to avoid breakage and serious damage to the hair. If you need to brush it, do so after detangling with a wide tooth comb. And last but not least, evaluate your expectations for her hair. Its not bone straight, so it isn't going to lay perfectly flat without some serious product. Nothing against straight hair, I wore mine relaxed for 35, but I had my hair relaxed so young, I never new what my natural hair texture was until my daughter was born. I wish I had been given the choice and the opportunity to see, and appreciate my hair in its natural state. Turns out I love it!

Myndi - posted on 12/26/2008

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I agree with Wendy! As a hairdresser I would not advise you to use chemical relaxers on a child! Maybe this is the hairdresser side of me, but my advice is... girls don't have to have hair down to thier butts! There are a lot of way cute shorter styles out there for little girls with all hair types! Surf the web for some ideas!

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Debz - posted on 02/27/2012

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My daught has very thick hair, and until she was 12 it was down to her bottom. I used to plate it every night before bed, I would only wash it twice a week, and before washing I would rub her scalp with a mild moisturiser and let it siting her scalp for 10 minutes. I always used conditioner and combed it is with a wide tooth comb when the conditioner was on the hair. This stopped tangle build up. Hope this helps x

Shana - posted on 01/30/2009

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Also, don't worry about having hair in complicated braids all the time, as long as its brushed thru  and styled in a couple of plaits or a pony tail every couple of days u should be fine.



Have the tv on and some snacks and a drink handy so shes occupied and go for it!

Shana - posted on 01/30/2009

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Look at www.anitagrant.com for 100% natural hair products and use a denman or tangle teaser brush!

User - posted on 01/23/2009

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Hi,



my daughter has curly hair and she has never liked us brushing her hair.



So what I do is while she's watching a show on TV or movie that she enjoys I sit her on my lap and brush her hair then because she is relaxed and sitting still. My husband also explained to me years ago that the best way to brush her hair is to brush the ends first and get if any knots out and then brush it from the roots.



I have also found that washing her hair the day before I brush it makes it a lot easier to brush.



One tactic I used to use when she liked wearing her hair in a ponytail was that I couldn't put her hair up unless I brushed it. You might also find that letting her choose some pretty clips or a pretty hairtie that she can wear that she can hold on to and look at while your brushing her hair. Or if she has a favourite toy she can play with or a favourite doll that perhaps she could brush her doll's hair while you are doing hers.



Or you could also use bribery if it works, I would say to Grace that we weren't going to go to playgroup until she had her hair brushed.



Good luck.

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You should use Miss Jessie's Baby Butter Cream, it works wonders on all hair types. When combing thick hair with any kind of tight curl, you should always start from the bottom & work your way up until the comb runs through. Another thing you might want to consider is having your daughters hair braided. Depending what style your daughter gets & how often your daughter covers her hair when she goes to bed, the braids can last up to a month. Check these links out...

http://www.missjessies.com/
http://everydaymiracle.wordpress.com/200...

If you live anywhere near a city with an african population, you can get your daughters hair braided easily, quickly & fairly cheap.

Dedra - posted on 12/24/2008

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hi my name is dedra im a mother of three and my daughters are not mixed but they have a good quality of hair and my youngest her hair stays tangled and frizzy i use pantene shampoo and conditioner for women of color the conditioner is really good for untangling hair like hers and brushing is always good i also use pink oil moisturizing lotion that helps to control frizz

LaShawn - posted on 12/24/2008

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I agree with Corey! Coming from a tenderheaded girl myself, the less she can feel pulling on her scalp, the better! Start at the ends with a bunch of hair in your fist and comb the pieces hanging near your thumb (wide - like 1cm between the teeth - tooth comb from Sally's or Wal-Mart) and work your way up.

Do it while wet with conditioner in it for best results. The book Curly Girl helped me to love my curly hair. I used to relax it every other month until I understood curly hair and now I only do it twice a year. Good luck!

User - posted on 12/24/2008

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I second what the other mom's have said! This is what I do, my 5 yr old daughter is mixed too. I wash her hair twice a week before bed with kid shampoo (dark & lovely for kids is nice). I then put Panteen conditioner in her hair for a minute or so, then wash it out. Panteen makes it super soft. I comb it before it gets too dry and I braid it or put it in a bun (w/ a scrunchie) for when she sleeps. Or if she has school the next day, I will part it how I want to style her hair and tie it up so it doesn't get tangled while she sleeps. The next day, I spritz a bit of water and spray detangler. I find that with her hair being somewhat wet, it's easier to comb. Her hair doesn't get dried out if I wet it again. With a wide tooth comb, I hold the roots and comb so it doesn't pull her scalp. I think that's a big key if you don't do that already...hold the roots while combing.

Tonya - posted on 12/24/2008

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Thank you all so much for the suggestions. I will have to look for the organic products, that seems to be the thing to use. You all have been very helpful and I do appreciate all the help :)

User - posted on 12/24/2008

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My daughter is half black too and what I do is i use a Relaxer in her hair...this will make it easier to brush through the curls..also I use No more tangeles spray..i spray it on her hair after a shower and it helps too...The relaxer will make her hair really dry so i usually get Aussie three minute miracle conditoner and leave it in for 5 minutes after her shampoo...I hope this helps:)

Carmen - posted on 12/24/2008

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don't wash it everyday!! and just like everyone has posted "conditioner, conditioner, conditioner". Coming from a family of puerto ricans who have very curly hair and being raised around a family who had to use relaxers (back in the day) constantly, trust me. Don't relax her hair, just telling you what my family did. Wash hair once or twice a week only and condition and the wide tooth comb, remember those 3 things. Remember you will have to invest $$$ b/c you will get what you pay for.

Tiffani - posted on 12/24/2008

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Carol's Daughter's Products! They are natural and not harsh and they will work great with her hair. Also I think someone else mentioned wash her only once a week and condition and it is a good idea to use a wide tooth comb don't brush and then probably braid it. My hair is very long, but fine and curly and probably a similar texture. My mom would french brain mine one on each side and I looked like princess leigh and she would pin it and that's how it looked all week at school and then on the weekends I could wear it out. It really looked pretty and it was extremely healthy.

Rachel - posted on 12/24/2008

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Have you tried Paul Mitchell Super Skinny? Its a wonderful product! And bed head makes an ouchless brush and it works.

Kimberley - posted on 12/24/2008

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Hi Tonya. I have a 13 year old daughter who is mixed as well. My sisters in law have told me to use all kinds of stuff from pink oil to sea breeze. The things I found to work best is to not use a brush use a wide tooth comb ( like all the other ladies have said) and don't start at the scalp. If you start at the ends where the tangles are usually the worst and work your way up. I use a leave in conditioner for frizzy hair which I put in as soon as I am done washing it and I add more if I need it. If you are trying to have a style that controls it but still looks pretty try a french braid. don't use gels or hairsprays because they dry up and make their hair look flaky. I hopethis helps and you and your family have a wonderful holiday season. Kimberley

Kiki - posted on 12/24/2008

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The type of tool you use to comb out her hair is key. Try using a Denman paddle brush and brush her hair out after you wash it, but while the conditioner is still in it. A wonderful detangling conditioner is Terex (bit pricey but wort it). When her hair is dry, that is when it probably hurts her the most to have it combed. When her hair is dry and you just want to brush it to neaten it up, try Vitapointe. It is rich so a dab will do you. You may have to put a sprtz of water on it when it is dry to soften it up with the Vitapointe. I hope this helps.

Cheryl - posted on 12/24/2008

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My kids are also mixed. My daughter has this issue too, she wants to keep her hair long. I use leave in conditioner. Infusium seems to work really well for her and keeps her curls kept tight and together, and a wide tooth comb also. I put it in a pink spray bottle for her so she can spray while I brush, this way she won't fuss with me too much. I also get her lots of cute hair ties so she will feel like doing her hair. I do braid her hair often too.

Sabrina - posted on 12/23/2008

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Well hello Tanya, I'm Sabrina and I'm a mother of three girls that are mixed. What works best for us is a special organic hair lotion that has olive oil in it and that's supposed to be very good for that type of hair. All 3 of my girls have been using it and they love it. And always make sure that you use a wide tooth comb.

Cyndi - posted on 12/23/2008

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I found with both of my sons, that the less brushing the better. Put tons of leave in conditioner while her hair is still wet( we use Ivory frizz control) comb it in and let it dry.. it will be curly, but beautiful

Jessica - posted on 12/23/2008

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Yes my aunt has the same problem with her children she uses alot of detangler shampoo and conditioners, how old is your daughter if you don't mind me asking. I usually braid their hair whenever they visit to keep their mom from combing it so much. But maybe that would be a problem with her being tender headed. Wow I definitely want to help,I will call her to make sure.

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