Narcissistic daughter and husband

Linda - posted on 07/02/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm having trouble dealing with my adult daughters narcissistic personality with no help from my husband who is also a narcissist. Very hard difficult family dynamics, and I'm at a breaking point after 30 years of marriage/parenting.

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Jodi - posted on 08/18/2016

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It isn't unkind to point out that people need to stop throwing the word around willy nilly just because they don't like someone's behaviour.

My knowledge? I don't really need to justify that to you. A degree in psychology gives one some level of knowledge about mental health disorders, but even if I didn't have one, I have enough nouse to know that you don't just throw a label around to explain away behaviour and project ANY of the responsibility from oneself. Not to mention this IS a public forum and everyone is entitled to an opinion. Just because you don't LIKE my opinion doesn't make it less valid.

And yes, my pet peeve is people going around labelling their children simply to explain away their behaviour. MANY people use this one to explain the selfishness of their child instead of looking at the bigger picture of some of the mistakes THEY may have made as a parent that has driven their child away. You have no idea how many people come to this board and use this term simply because their adult child has decided to cut off ties with their parents, and they use this term instead of analysing and work at resolving what may be perfectly valid reasons from the perspective of the adult child.

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Kshults - posted on 08/18/2016

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Jodi, are you a licensed therapist? I have seen your unkind remarks in many conversations dealing with narcissism. Where is your knowledge coming from?

Jodi - posted on 07/02/2016

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One of my absolute pet peeves is when people throw around the word "narcissist" when it's actually not. Narcissistic personality disorder is actually a diagnosable psychological disorder and comes with a set of symptoms, just as any other disorder does. If your husband and daughter have not been diagnosed, then I'd suggest you are just dealing with selfish individuals, which is NOT narcissism. Everyone displays some level of narcissistic behaviour in their lives at some point. Basically, unless you are a mental health professional, you are not qualified to label them as a narcissist. Selfish, egotistical assholes, maybe.

ANd allow me to say.....if you have never taken your daughter to a professional to have her diagnosed, then she probably isn't a true narcissist, because this would have been something that showed up long before adulthood.

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