Narsissis

Christine - posted on 03/23/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My husband and I are about to confront our adult daughter (21years old) about excessive lying about major life choices. She is only saying what she feels we want to hear; what will beniifit her. we have realized the pattern of years of lying (about 13 years old). I am afaid of losing her completely. If my husband tells her to leave (what he is focused on doing if she lies in our conversation) I believe she will: quit college and run into the arms of the trams sexual relationship (female to male) she has been lying about. Her lying is so bold, that my husband asked her what her GPS was last semester - she said she didn't know. Went and got her final grades and stood next to him and said 2.5. This is significant her GPA has been much higher her last two years. My husband said it didn't make sence, and asked to look. It actually said she was at a 1.6. I want to love her through this. I want to mainly let her not give up on school. I know her relationship with this woman/man plays a huge part. We cannot trust her. And, to try and understand, is what we have been doing in each circumstance. I have tried to steer conversations towards letting her come out and tell the truth-yet she lies. How can we ever trust her? If she chooses to leave, how can I cope?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/23/2015

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All I can say is this: You've been attempting to control an ADULT for the past 3 years.
How about letting her BE an adult? If she's living in the home: a contract. Necessary. For both parties. THAT is the limit of your 'control' over your 'narcissistic' daughter...Who, by the way, isn't necessarily narcissistic, but exerting her independence and adulthood.
If she doesn't WANT to participate in further schooling, why should she waste her time and money? HER CHOICE.
If she wants to be in a transgender relationship...again, HER CHOICE. Either find it in your heart to support and love your daughter or back the hell off NOW.
She lies to tell you what you want to hear, because you DON'T WANT TO HEAR HER TELL YOU SHE'S AN ADULT. You DON'T want to admit that she's reached the age of majority, and your job is DONE as far as demanding complete control and obedience.
My advice to your daughter, if she's still living at home: GET OUT. Now. Live your life, ENJOY your life, be SAFE, be HAPPY, and find love.

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