naughty spot or not?

Lisamward - posted on 05/22/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So I have a 3 year old and one year old and am trying to have the 'gentle parenting' approach. I find this so much easier with Elsie (1yrold), Olivia (3yrold) is a different challenge. Being older she gets frustrated and acts out- often explodes. I understand the emotion behind this but it isn't always easy to have the perfect answer. I have used the naughty spot in the past, but after doing research and over-thinking I am not sure this is the right approach. Opinions?

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Ledia - posted on 05/22/2015

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I'm not a fan of the naughty spot. Usually, when toddlers are acting out, they are doing it because they want attention or they are emotionally raw from the day's activities or a stressful situation. Isolating and ostracizing them just makes them feel worse and teaches them nothing about healthy, productive ways to work through the emotions that are throwing them into a tantrum.

Instead, I turn everything into a choice for my son--he's 10 now, but I've been doing it since he was 1. Before he makes a choice, I make sure he knows all the consequences of his actions--GOOD and bad. When he makes a poor choice, it is on him, and he has to live out the consequences. This makes it more difficult for him to get mad at me, which leaves me in a better position to speak to him.
Also, I try not to use "made up" consequences unless I must. I try to let natural consequences occur, but of course that isn't always possible...

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