need a christian advice about a childs potty training

C - posted on 07/23/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )

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my husband and i got a kid in our previous relationship, (that we are not married to), my husband's daughter is living with us occasionally she is 6 1/2 years old. she spend longer days with us during summer. my situation is that she has been potty trained by my husband since she was 3 years old, when i got into the picture i help him potty trained her, within 6 months she was doing great until on our 7th month she regress, shes not only peeing during day and night time but pooping too. we did our best to put her back on track. recently we just knew that she is not being trained on her mother side, they ( her biological mom and step dad) are still putting her on pull ups each night and every night she wets the bed because the pull up cannot hold all the urine. is this a form of neglect? since most of the time the child in question spend more time to her home than mine. how can i trained this child to stop wetting the bed? considering the fact that when she gets back to her mom she is wearing pull ups at night..

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Sarah - posted on 07/23/2015

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Is she using the potty appropriately during the day but not at night? Some kids do wet the bed at his age. If it's deliberate, you have a different problem then just teaching her to use the toilet at night.

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Dove - posted on 07/24/2015

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Oh... and i wiped my son's butt after he pooped until he was 7.... lol Some kids just take more time to grow up in certain areas than others... and that's OK.

Dove - posted on 07/24/2015

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So she was only potty trained for 6 months and has now been doing this for 3 years? She is still in the normal age range for bed wetting. If my child were wetting the bed every night... they'd be in pull ups too. That's not neglect.... that's protecting her and her mattress... though if she's peeing enough to soak through I don't know about that.

As far as pooping I can't say, but my girls 'dampened' their pants on occasion day and night til they were 8/9 years old. Daytime was not full on wetting, but it was just something that happened that they had to outgrow... and they did.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2015

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One thing to remember.....potty training is about control. The child has complete control over learning, and no one can force them. This may be more than you think it is. It sounds deeper. Regression is totally normal BTW. Both of my kids regressed about 6 months after they were fully potty trained.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2015

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I understand your frustration, but you know it is the right thing to do. This is your stepdaughter. A little girl that is clearly having trouble between homes. This could be medically related, emotionally driven, or simply has not out grown it yet. How awful that everyone is just going to give up on teaching her a basic need in our society. She is only 6.

Please don't take the attitude "if her mom isn't gonna help her then I am not".

My daughter who is 5 still needs help wiping. She does it at school, but wants help at home. I am fine to help her. Every now and again she wets the bed. Never gets yelled at about it, embarrassed, nothing. Why? Because I know it is out of her control when she is asleep. I know it is totally normal to have accidents.

Sit down with her dad, and have a very serious conversation about this little girls potential neglect from her mother, and how to fix this as a TEAM. Bring her to the pediatrician to rule out any medical conditions. If the doctor feels it could be emotional stress, get her some counseling. If this is just normal growth and development, get 2 very good waterproof mattress pads, and a couple of sets of sheets to swap out. Ask the doctor for some advice on how to curb this. But don't give up on this little girl. She deserves love, support, and understanding.

C - posted on 07/23/2015

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yes she does. she knows because shes been dry most of the days and in some nights , what i am thinking that she is getting lazy and just do it and pee on her self. i dont know i am very frustrated on this things, and thinking to stop all of it.

C - posted on 07/23/2015

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i dont know if i should keep up with it.. somehow it make me think that i am the only one pushing it through since i am the one who is left in the house with her. she knows what shes doing but i am thinking that she is getting lazy of doing it. she dont even wipe her butt when shes pooping and you have to constantly remind her of that. its just weighing me down.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/23/2015

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Don't put her back in pull ups. Lots of encouragement, love and kindness...and understanding. She might be lying cause she is embarrassed. Some kids will wet the bed until they are older. It is normal. It can be tough on kids that have 2 different households, and 2 different expectations.

C - posted on 07/23/2015

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. she does that in our house, getting up in the night time to go to the bathroom, i really dont know the reason why she is not doing well in the other house where in they have 2 bathrooms and in my house we only got one. my husband keeps on asking her about the child's potty training and every time he do, she wont reply or dont want to talk about it, and yes shes way too old to be potty training considering the fact that my husband trained her when she was almost 3 years old. it causes me pain seeing her not being trained by her own mother. what do you think should i stop training her in my house since at the end of the day she will be back to her moms house and she will be in pull ups again

C - posted on 07/23/2015

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yes i do understand her situation, but then knowing her for and her capabilities she already made it through 6months on and of in our place of not wetting the bed. now every time she wets the bed she hides it and lie about it saying that she didnt pee on the bed, and she is somehow amused that she did. its like ordinary to her, that i just have to clean it. ive talked to my husband about it and wanted to seek help for her sake. but then my husband dont want to do it. he talked to the mom and asked about the potty training and indeed she didnt trained her and still put her on pull ups. i never had this problem with my own child.
should i just leave it alone and put her in pull ups at night time too? and leave the training . for i know that when the time she goes back to her she will be in pull ups anyway.

Raye - posted on 07/23/2015

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Why is the girl not getting up and going to the toilet? It doesn't matter if the mother puts her in a pullup, the daughter can treat it just like regular underwear, and still get up and go to the bathroom. if she was doing well at your house, she's capable of doing it at her mother's house too. Maybe that's the only way she gets her mother's attention, is to make a mess and have to be cleaned up. Has your husband talked to the mother and tried to get her on board with training? 6-1/2 is way too old not to be potty trained.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/23/2015

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She may have a medical condition, or she may be a late bloomer. Some children take longer to learn to recognize the signals when they are asleep. Unless you have proof of other situations that may be abusive, neglectful or otherwise dangerous to her, I wouldn't be crying 'neglect' about this, as it could be something entirely different.
She also may be reacting to the change in her life of you coming into her life, and the changing between households, in which case counseling or therapy is helpful. I think one should always bring in a counselor or therapist when involved in a divorce or split that involves children.

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