Need advice!

Priscilla - posted on 03/11/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I was dating a guy for years. We planned to have a baby. Once I got pregnant, everything changed! We was scared and didn't know what to do. He changed and got distant. HE wanted to go out and just didn't care to bond with me/baby. I know men are different... It takes time. My parents decided to put there opinion in., they don't like him and don't want him to have any rights. Which I think is wrong. My dad even was telling people the baby was not my exs so my ex wouldn't push for court. I want to be civil. I know me and my ex fell apart and he does have some anger issues... A lot of growing up to do as well, but I can't do that. I don't feel like that's right in my eyes. I feel like I'm torn, they don't want him at the birth... They don't want him to have weekends. I know he is my child but when I bring up my feelings they get pissed. They claim that just bc he is at the birth that court will have a reason to make me take a paternity test which is fine with me, they just want his rights taken away.what should I do?

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Priscilla - posted on 03/11/2014

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Thank you! I feel like that is best. I just want to be civil instead of hating each other. I would much rather get along and not put our child through that. This is our child regardless and he will always be the father no matter what. My parents just don't seem to understand. I know they are worried about me but I feel like they are only mad because he left me at a time I needed him..ll but it's not about me or him. It's about the baby. IF he wants to be there for him, then I shouldn't take that away from him. I just wouldn't feel right. Thank you! I appreciate the advice. IT helps a lot.

Ev - posted on 03/11/2014

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First, do not listen to your parents' opinions about this whole thing and tell them that unless they can be a positive support for you during this you do not want their opinion. Second, Your ex may want to have his rights and may proceed if you do not to get them. So when the child is born be sure to set up custody, visitation, and child support. Do not let your parents influence what you deem to be the right course of action because what you have said is the right way to think in this. Be civil. Work with the father if he does show interest. This will go a long way to a better parenting of the child and the relationships with the parents.

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