Merina - posted on 08/03/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )
So I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now. My daughter (4) and I just met his daughters (7 and 4 1/2) in early June. Him and his ex-wife have 50/50 -- every other week--custody arrangement.
The younger one recently has been telling me she wants me to be her mom. The first time she told me, I told her in a nice loving way that she already had a mom. She then told me she wanted me to be her step-mom then. She told me again that she wanted me to be her mom, and when I'm with her I'm her mom during that time.
While I have always dreamed that one day his kids would love me like a second mom (before I met them I had these fantasies) once it became reality, it doesn't feel right. I want to have a great relationship with them and want them to be able to come to me, but I don't want them or their mom thinking I'm trying to replace her. I respect that they have a mom who is still active in their life, and I don't want to interfere with that.
So my question is, what is the best way to handle this situation? It feels very delicate. I don't want her to retreat and feel like I don't love her or that I don't want to be her "mom". I simply don't want to offend their mom and make her think I am trying to take her place, especially considering she has half custody of them. I feel I would have a different look on it of she wasn't present at all. I know I would be devastated if my daughter wanted her step-mom to be her "mom".