Need Advice ASAP!

Melaidy - posted on 08/12/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I'm a first time Mom with a 15month old son. I'm having a serious problem with my mom about giving him things he shouldn't have like Soda, Coffee, French Fries etc. I have asked her not to give him these things but all she ever has to say is she's Grandma she can do whatever she wants. I don't know how to get it across to her that it isn't healthy for him and I don't want him having it. I'm not sure if anyone else is having this same problem but if you've gone thru this .. Please tell me how to go about fixing this!

9 Comments

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Ahndrea - posted on 08/15/2014

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Girl you have to be stern! My son is 11 months old and if anyone gave him these things I would raise some heck. Anywho I hope it works out for u

Dove - posted on 08/13/2014

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Honestly... she IS Grandma, so you really have two choices since she won't respect your wishes... either let it go and just limit the amount of time your son spends w/ her... or stop allowing her to see him. I guess it just depends on which is more important to you... your son's diet or his relationship w/ his grandmother.

Sorry... I just read that you live w/ her. That does make it a bit more complicated, but if the two of you can not come to an agreement... your only logical choice is to find somewhere else to live. You CAN choose to not leave them alone together and take away whatever she gives him each and every time and throw it away or whatever... but all that is going to do is continue to hurt and confuse your child.

Good luck!

Jackie - posted on 08/13/2014

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Melaidy, You need to take control here. Do whatever it takes. Let them both know, you are mommy and you make the rules. If he is screaming in front of her you take him out of her sight, into another room, and make him calm down. You must not give in! Do you see yourself moving out soon, that you can deal with this until then? If not then I would heed my words and take control of the situation. He's 15mos , so the words no and time out he should be able to understand. and with enough repetition he will get it. If she still does it when you're not around, well then there probably isnt much you can do about that unfortunately until u move. Good luck!

Melaidy - posted on 08/13/2014

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I have confronted her. I have told her why I don't want him having these things. I have shown her videos & research she just doesn't care because if it makes him happy it makes her happy. If he wants something she gives it to him. He knows if he acts out Grandma will just give into him & give it to him anyway. So when I try explaining to him that these things aren't any good for him he literally screams & throws himself to the ground until he gets it. His Doctor has told me he's going to do that because he knows someone will give into him & to bascially let him do it until he gets over it but my mom doesn't think that's right. In the end he's my child & I want him to know that he's not going to get everything he wants, when he wants it. As long as we're living here this is going to continue & I have done everything in my power to stop it from happening.

Jackie - posted on 08/13/2014

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Well, that makes things more complicated then. I like you do not have a very good relationship with my mother either. Have you tried talking to her, like confronting her but not in a disrespectful way or anything? I mean have you told her why you don't want him having these things and asked her to respect you as his mother? Then if she still does it, you have done all you can do, and until you move out your probably going to have to find way to deal. As far as you taking something and her giving it back, u really need to stand your ground, take it away again throw it in the trash and then talk to your child about it so she hears and sees it. Maybe if she sees you are not going to back down she will respect your wishes. Good luck, I know how exhausting it can be! Hang in there!

Melaidy - posted on 08/12/2014

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My mom & I haven't ever had a good relationship so to her it's just a game. Something to do to get under my skin. If I try to take anything away from him that he shouldn't have he screams & she just gives it back to him.

Jackie - posted on 08/12/2014

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Oh yes! But for me it was MIL so she knew not to mess around! Everytime she'd do something like that I would take it away right that minute explain to child and grandma like a child why it wasn't good for them! That pretty much nipped it!

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