Need advice- I took in my lying manipulating teen niece

Liz - posted on 10/08/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 17 year old neice has been begging me to take her in for almost a year now. After many family discussions and her agreeing to our terms. Which were abiding by our rules (curfew, no drinking- she already has a DUI- no driving our vehicles, enrolling and attending school, respectful and no touching our children- she is allowed to reprimand and hit her younger sibling) she promised t be on her best behavior and to help out around our house. Se got here on Tuesday w/absolutely no money- she spent it on shopping sprees- she even spent the money fr her airline ticket she was to reimburse me for. Things were going well. She had lost her birth cert and SS card so we immediatley got replacements, we went to the community college and went over her registration to make sure everything was in place. She said she was happy and felt she had actually accomplished something. We found her a waitressing job where they don't serve alcohol. She said she felt like she was finally moving in the right direction. The first week she really did nothing around the house except for gettin settled. I set up the guest room very nicely for her. She had more ammenities than my own children. On Saturday we went to the beach since she hadn't been there since she was little and I thought we had a great day. On our way home I start receiving calls from my sister (her mom) and my brother. They had made plans for her to be picked up later that night to stay with my brother b/c she culdn't stand it anymore at my home. I then found out that when she visited her cousin she told him that it was unbearable b/c I don't let her drive my vehicle, we gave her a midnight curfew and are making her go to the church her family had belonged to when they lived her (her mothers condition on coming).

I thought things were going well and was completely blindsided. Her mothers says she was texting her and telling her that my husband and I were constantly fighting andI was so mean to my children. When I asked her why she said these things when the didn't happen she said her mom was lying. I asked her what the issue was and she told me that she doesn't like my 7 year old son and that he is spoiled. Se went on that no one like him and rambled on names in front of my son. Se has not spoken with these people but my son heard her and is devastated. My 11 yo daughter told me that she told her that my son is obviouslymy favorite and she is being trated poorly. Of course I confronted her

she claims that she didn't say these things that she feels I have been a good mom.

My husband has now had an argument with my brother (because he is the one my neice says said things about my son and my family). My brother wont return my calls, my sister has informed me that her daughter stopped taking her antidepressants- which I had no idea she was on) I have not been able to sleep, my husband is angry that this ever happened, I am sick that there is now unrepairable damage. My brother and I have been in a good place for the last year an after 25 years of marraige his wife has finally decided that she "can accept me". I am at a loss as to how to fix this. Lord only knows what my neice has said and now my sister admits that she is a compulsive liar. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks


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Michelle - posted on 10/08/2012




First move her out you don't need that in your life let her go move in with your brother. Let your brother cool off a bit and he can see first hand what a liar she is and then start to try and rebuild your relationship.

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