Need advice on 8 year old son refusing to do things for himself

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

When my son was a year old he had a serious health crisis. Because it happened when he was so young and because it was so serious, we babied him a lot and were very protective. Now he is 8 and won't do anything for himself. We dress him, bathe him, tie his shoes and when we try to ignite some excitement in him about growing up, he gets sad and cries. Any ideas?

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Gena - posted on 11/26/2013

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I think a therapist is not a bad idea,maybe he will open up abit and make progress.I wish you and your son all the best.

[deleted account]

Thanks very much for the response.

He is healthy now and is totally capable of doing things on his own but for some reason the idea of growing up is scaring him. He is very attached to us and I feel that gaining some independence will help his confidence and things will fall into place after that. I just don't know how to get him there.

He also keeps a lot inside. He won't talk about how he feels or what is bothering him.

Gena - posted on 11/26/2013

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I am sorry i dont really know what advice to give..is he healthy now?Could he do the stuff on his own if he wanted to or is he not able to do it due to the health crisis? Only advice i a can think of right now is making a star chart board,i got this advice also from a mother here because my son hated getting his hair washed.So i drew a board and drew a head full of shampoo and also some other stuff like getting nails cut and brushing teeth.Then when your child does something on his own he can get a star to stick on the board and then you might want to give him a little treat at the end of the week.I never gave my son a treat,for him the treat was that he could stick the star on the board,but he is still very young. I hope the idea can help you. Good Luck

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