Rachel - posted on 06/14/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )
I'm a stepmother to a 12 yr old boy, Collin. His father has had full custody of him since he was one due to an injury that the boy received when his mom left him with he boyfriend who was high on drugs.
The original agreement stated that she could have visitation on Tues but no overnights unless they were supervised. It also states that she can't bring Collin around her boyfriend (who caused the accident) and that she can't use drugs.
Since then, his mom has been in and out of his life. She lived in Florida for a time, came back, had a warrant for her arrest for selling drugs and fled to Utah, then finally came back and went to jail. When I came into the picture she had just gotten out of jail. We let her see Collin every other weekend until it was discovered that she was using drugs and bringing the kids around the old boyfriend. She ended up back in jail. She got out and has made very minimal efforts to see him since then. (about two years)
Suddenly on Friday before his birthday party, she has her mom call and threaten us with the old visitation order unless we let her have Collin over the weekend. He hasn't spent significant time with her (over a 15 min visit) in nearly 5 years!
My husband never had the old visitation order changed and we don't have time to go to the court house before Tues (her scheduled day) comes around. Do we have to let her have him on Tues? Isn't there extenuating cirumstaces since the order is old and she's been in violation of it's terms? (drugs, old boyfriend) I don't want to get in trouble legally-especially since it would look bad if we didn't comply for future court cases-but this amounts to blackmail.
As a side note-she insists that we are keeping her from her son, but if she's had this visitation order the whole time and could enforce it, then how have we kept her from him? We have reached out several times but she has refused to meet with us to discuss visitation.
I starting to feel like we made a big mistake not going through the court system from day one. But my husband really had no idea how it all worked and thought that she would be the one who would have to file for a new visiation agreement after she had been in jail.
Any advice would be appreciated!