Need advice on adult stepchildren eating out all the time

Texas - posted on 08/29/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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One of mine moved back in months ago (dad was going to have him pay rent due to being 21) and the other just turned 18 (just graduated from HS) recently there have been tons of fast food boxes littering the living room and kitchen. I am upset as neither pays any bills (including cell phone, car insurance or anything) our fridge is always stocked full. Now my 18 year old needs help with her college textbooks, I don't mind helping out but her account is attached to my husband's and all her purchases have been for fast food! She has no money. I just would like some advice on how to approach this? I don't mind them occasinally spending their money on fast food but we never eat out like that and I would like them to learn to budget? My biological daughter is upset with me becuase when she gets her job I am going to make her pay her cell phone bill; I feel that even though she is young she still needs to learn to pay bills. We have 6 all together and it worked with 2 out of the 6 so far. Any ideas would be great!

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Texas - posted on 08/29/2012

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Dad used to not get involved. I used to sit down with them and talk about budgeting. I was the first one to cosign vehicles for my two older ones. What happened was when my strong willed (but beautiful) step daughter was going to need a cosigner, I told my husband she doesn't like listening to me and I am not fighting for the payment. My other two knew it was either the car payment or the keys on the counter. Well that was 3 or 4 years ago. After my husband cosigned the car the others saw how lenient he was (they could be late, come up with excuses, etc.) he took over all of that business so now they only want to listen to him b/c he is so much more lenient than I am. My 21 year old has moved out, then moved back in. When he first asked his dad to move back in my husband had come up with rules and how much rent to pay but never enforced it.

Mia - posted on 08/29/2012

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What does dad say? The way I approached this with my stepson was sitting down with him to work on his budgeting skills. He made a list of the things he would like to purchase (at that time it was a vehicle), and we worked together on how much money he would have to save monthly to be able to make payments on the car, insurance, and fuel. He showed me his bank statements, and I made sure to not criticize how he spends his money, but rather point out which expenses are "wants" and which are "needs". He's 19 and still struggles with budgeting, but has been ableto achieve some of his financial goals with the budgeting skills we taught him. I would also say make sure to include your husband in this process. Good luck!

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