Need advice on child not having a room

Aurianna - posted on 01/22/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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this may be long but here goes... So I just moved out of my dads house and am now living with my mom. My dad was abusive and refused to get a job so my siblings and I and him lived in a motel. My sister payed the rent and bought the food until I got a job. There was one bathroom and 3 beds. My sister slept with my dad (yes to answer that question) My little brother had his own bed and I shared the bed with my dog. When moving to my moms I was told I would have my own space and be ready for school. The new semester is about to start and I am now sleeping on the couch while all 10 other people get their own rooms. There is 4 and a half bedrooms. My mother and her bf, my "sister" and her bf, my other "sister", my "grandmother", and my "sister" and her girlfriend and child now have my room. They complain about us being too loud at night but when I am asleep in the morning they constantly wake me up. My stuff keeps coming up missing from the now little places its in (most of my stuff is contained in a VERY small dresser and a bin. I have to change in the bathroom all over again and my mother won't address to her husband how upset I am over this. I don't have any space to myself anymore. Even less than with my dad. She promised I wouldn't have to go through that again. But every time I bring it up with her bf he gets mad and threatens to kick his daughters out of the house just so I can have my "stupid space". I don't understand what happened but it feels like nobody cares about how i'm feeling. And I can't cry because every time I do I am pressured about it until I tell them. And once I do they get mad at me and I get yelled at. How do I tell them how I'm feeling when they don't want to listen?

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Dove - posted on 01/22/2016

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You don't have to end up like your father just because you go into foster care. You create your own future.

You are certainly in a hard place right now, but other than advising you to speak to your school guidance counselor (or teacher... or principal) I'm not sure how else anyone on here can be of any practical help to you.

It would be great if your mother would take your feelings seriously and help come up w/ a solution to give you your own safe space, but unfortunately not every parent is equipped to parent well.

Aurianna - posted on 01/22/2016

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I am 15. My "siblings" are in their late 20's. Yes they should, but my dad was in foster care for a long time starting at my age and I don't want to end up like him. I just moved here and don't have any friends and haven't spoken to my mother in 4 years. Therefore I don't know any of her friends. I don't have a phone to call. My only other relative is my grandmother and she is on oxygen and disowned all of my mother's children. Also, she told me if I wanted to live with her I had to convert to mormonism.

Dove - posted on 01/22/2016

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Does your school have a guidance counselor you can confide in? Are you close w/ any of your friends' parents?

That doesn't sound like a good environment to grow up in, but I don't know if you would be better off in foster care (or w/ another relative or a friend) or not.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/22/2016

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Is there anywhere for you to move to? A friends house? Another relative?

Raye - posted on 01/22/2016

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How old are you?

My first thought would be to call child protective services on both your father and mother. That would get you removed from both their care, but not necessarily into better conditions. You'd be away from your family, and still may not have your own room. Definitely what's going on in both situations is not good. If your dad and your sister, his daughter, are having sex, that is very, very, very wrong, and he should be put in jail. Your mom is not strong enough to take up for her children, because she's too wrapped up with the boyfriend. And your mom's boyfriend obviously doesn't care about you. How old are his kids that are living there? Sounds like most of his kids are older and should be out on their own, not still living with a parent.

Wow, I feel so sorry for you, but I don't really know what to say.

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