Need advice on custody! please help

Maggie - posted on 08/24/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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hi,im from PA and im currently 23 weeks pregnant with my second child,he was planned and i found out he was here at only 6 weeks along....me and my ex were very excited for this...but as the months moved on my ex became more and more distant...eventually he decided to move back to california due to medial problems (or so he said,i figured out about a month after he left it was all lies) where his family is and left me here pregnant,with promises of him coming back and us doing the long distance thing.Needless to say only 3 days after him being gone he had met a new girl and dropped me like a bad habit,and decided to start denying our son,saying that he doesnt beleave its his child and hes not ready to be a dad ect ect ....i have email upon email of him stateing that he would let someone eles be the father,that hes not ready,and that he doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby...even one email states that "he is in love so whatever happens to the baby will not effect him".................im worried because the last email i recieved was him saying he was going to take full custody of my son,because he does not think he should grow up in poverty( i live in low income houseing,beautiful develoment tho),or around ppl that drink or do drugs (no i do not do drugs nor does anyone i talk to,but yes i am 22 and every few MONTHS i have a night out with friends at a bar)....which i might add i have plenty of proof he was at those bars with me haveing a great time as well,i honestly dont know what to think or do,he has been in Cali now for 2 months,still lives with his parents and has no job...he was an amazing man,and the Poof he turns into this....my son is due in december and idk if i should be worried about him being able to get custody after all he has said and done. any advice would be so helpful right now,im honestly at such a loss that something like this has happend to me,i love my children with all my heart and will fight tooth and nail if need be...but is there even any possibility of him getting any rights?

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Maggie - posted on 08/24/2012

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Ive always told him i wanted him to have something to do with the baby,it just always seemed thats not what he wanted ...i just hope he changes if not for me for his son.

Dove - posted on 08/24/2012

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Of course he will have rights. He IS the father. Many courts do like to give 50/50 custody, but given your distance... no judge is going to find that practical. Keep all emails, texts, whatever from him of the things he has said.... and start calling up lawyers. Based on your op it is highly unlikely that he will get custody, but you really need a lawyer to work all the details through with you.



Your child has a right to a relationship with his/her father and if you go into court trying to find a way to make that happen while still protecting the well being of your child... it will get you a lot farther than if you go into court trying to keep your baby away from the father.



Good luck!

Katherine - posted on 08/24/2012

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No worries. Most states are mother states. He abandoned YOU. There is virtually no way he will get custody.

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