Need Advice on dealing with controlling grandparents.

Laura Felice - posted on 05/07/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Okay, so I have a son who is about to be 3 in a couple of months and right before he turned 2 his father signed his rights over because he was in and out of mental hospitals and thought it would be for the best. Since then the father has been on medication and sees my son and has been doing very well. His parents have always been overbearing ever since my son was born and even called CPS on me because they told me when my son was 7 months old he had to spend the weekends with them or they would call and I told them he needed to stay at home with me and then they called and that was that. So after they called CPS I waited about 3-4 months until the baby's 1st birthday before letting them see my son again. Since then everything has been going good except a couple nights ago when we were out to eat in another town and they decided to argue with their son (my child's father) who was not arguing back btw and did it so long and loud that I had to remove my son and take him out of the restaurant then after this happened, they decided that since it was raining outside it would only be safe if my son rode home with them (we were about an hour away from home) and at first I was like that sounds like it should be fine then quickly said, never mind, I'd really like him to go with me since it's such a long drive and after this they started threatening me and then just took my son home without my permission to my parents house (where I currently stay with my son until I finish college). So when I was going through the court stuff with getting full rights to my son and his father signing his legal rights away to me and my parents I decided to keep letting my child's father's parents still be involved. However, they are those type of grandparents that want to see him everyday and claim I said they could watch him when I don't. My question is what would others do in this situation? They aren't legally related to my son (since his father signed his rights away) but I know my son loves them and I don't want to cut their relationship because they do have a bond. I have set boundaries for them on seeing him since their little I'm going to take your kid with me episode a bit back and my child's grandmother is okay with the boundaries but is very snooty when she is around me. I am not a mean person at all I just know that with their arguing, and manipulation my son needs to limit his time with them. Please let me know what you all think. Thanks so much in advance.

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Raye - posted on 05/07/2015

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I'm not sure where you live, but most states do not extend any rights to the grandparents unless both natural parents are unfit. The boy is YOUR son, and they need to get over it. You are extending them a courtesy by allowing them visitation, and they should be grateful for that and not disrespect you. It's possible they truly mean well, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. My MIL "means well" but she sometimes goes about things in a way that hurts other people. You should set boundaries, and stick by them. Don't let them bully you.

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Ev - posted on 05/07/2015

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I agree with Raye on that but if I were you I would also check on the grandparents rights in your state. Like she said most of them do not have any laws regarding grandparents rights but some states do. Just do this to cover yourself. You are right when it comes to setting limits to what is going to happen to your son. You are offering them chances to see him and spend time with him and that is all they need. I wish you the best.

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