Need Advice on Dealing with Grandparents

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

Hi, I'm looking for advice on dealing with my father and stepmom as well as other family members being overbearing.

My father remarried recently to a much younger woman, she's younger than my fiancé, and now I have a sister who is 2 and a bunch of young step siblings, ranging from 6 to 13. (I am 20) So as you can see they are very much still living in "parent mode". The too much "advice" and trying to be the parent over me is a big issue. And the other issue is that my stepmom thinks holidays should be at their house as well. For example: the Easter bunny brings him a basket at their house, or Santa brings him toys there, and she wants to buy him a Christmas stocking for Santa to fill. There are a couple reasons I don't like that. For one, I want to have holidays with MY family. My fiancé has twins and we have a son. I want to enjoy our holidays like a normal family. And I also don't want it to confuse him. I've told him Santa, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy etc. bring him things at his house. How do I explain why he gets double? Or why he doesn't get presents from Santa at his other grandparents house? I shouldn't have to.

I know I should be grateful that they love him so much and I am. I truly truly am. I just want them to back off and be grandparents. They have 6 kids in their home that they need to be parents to and it seems like the only one they want to parent is mine.

If anyone has any advice I would GREATLY appreciate it.

-Jena

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/25/2013

13,207

21

2014

Coming from someone who had 3 easter bunnies, 3 santa's, 3 birthdays...

You're worrying too much.

My kids have always gotten multiple easter, birthday, christmas, halloween, etc things from multiple places. We celebrate Christmas beginning on 20 December, and see a different grandparent every couple of days ending on 1 January. Between my husband & I, we have 7 different family celebrations, not counting our personal one at home. Make that 6 this year because we lost one set of great grandparents...but anyway...you get the picture.

They never even questioned why Santa would leave them stuff at home & at one grandma's but not the other 2. Well, maybe ONE time...at which time I told them that she asked Santa if he could. No more questions asked.

What matters is that kids feel LOVE. The more the better.

Them having "extra" at their house doesn't mean that you can't create wonderful family traditions of your own.

As far as other parenting issues with them, just smile sweetly, say "thanks, but we've decided to (fill in the blank)" Or "Thanks for the advice. We'll take it into consideration". Or, you could take my method (but I'm old enough to be your mother too...LOL) and say "You raised yours, I'll raise mine, thanks!"

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