Mommabird - posted on 03/16/2015 ( 13 moms have responded )
Im the stepmom of 17 mth old twins. The bio mom and my husband had a one night stand during our separation and we've been working together to co parent since we got back together and found out he was the father. There is no legal paperwork on visitation, child support or anything. All of it was worked out between themselves when the twins were 4 mths old. We've had them every other weekend and 2 days the other weeks until a few mths ago...now we have them Wednesday through Monday every 2 weeks. My husbands schedule at work changed and he works opposite weekends we have them now. I love them like my own and do not have a problem having them here even when hes gone but I have health issues and dont feel capable of handling twins plus our two children for a whole weekend by myself. I have pain 24/7 and Dr's cant find whats causing it, which makes me think its fibromyalgia or something like it. I have memory issues, migraines, pain in my muscles and joints, and anxiety. Oh and i dont sleep well...wake up every 2 hrs even when I take melatonin. Sorry im just trying to give as much info thats necessary. My question is this...how should my husband approach her in asking for a better schedule so hubby is here when theyre here to take care of them. Were both leery about it to begin with because she has stated in the past that she doesnt want to switch weekends because she has a 5 yr old who goes to his dads the same weekend and she needs her free weekends for rest and sanity. I need to mention the fact she lives with her parents and her mom watches the twins on a daily basis (while she works or goes out)so she never has the children by herself. We have to be careful how we word things with her or she gets mad and defensive. But she is a selfish person and we dont know how to approach her to make her think about how we feel...or how the twins might feel, since they have to spend most their time with me instead of daddy. We need suggestions. Any advice is welcome...im open minded.