Need advice on my son's education! Help!

Wanda - posted on 08/13/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hello I have my son who is in the 5th grade and he has a IEP. My husband (not my son’s father) believes that I should remove my son from the classroom environment he is currently in (6 kids to 1 teacher). He states that my son shouldn’t be in that classroom and that my son can play video games really good so he should be able to be in a regular classroom. He is scared that my son would be made fun and feel different. He also states that I baby him too much and that my son knows this and doesn’t try harder because of that. With that being said I appreciate his concern but I have to disagree. I know I may baby him at times but I want him to be in a environment where he is comfortable and not frustrated. I know my son can try harder and me and as his parent can try harder as well. I just don’t want to put him in a regular classroom where he is going to feel different and he won’t be able to keep up. He is still in a 2 to 3 grade reading level. This situation is affecting my relationship with husband greatly because we both have 2 very different opinions. Am I being crazy overprotective mom who doesn’t want her son to feel frustrated or am I doing the right thing? I need all the advise I can get.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/13/2014

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What is the IEP for? if it is for adjustment in classroom situations, it most likely needs to stay in place. The determination will be made by his 'team': Yourself, his teachers & school administrators, and counselor.

You need to get your husband in the loop. Your son knows he's special, and he is special. EVERY kid is special. And he's in the special room because he deserves to be there, not because he's stupid. Your husband needs to quit putting the idea into his head that being special is bad, that he's 'not normal', etc.

Wanda - posted on 08/13/2014

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We just move from NY to Fl so I haven’t met his teachers yet. His annual testing is in November so I will know then, but last November they agreed that he is in the correct classroom. I can see where my husband is coming from because he is just scared that we are limiting my son. He states that my son quits when it’s too hard and he feels that this classroom ratio is making it very easy for him. I understand where he may be coming from but I don’t know if my fear of my son feeling defeated or feeling like he can’t do whatever he wants is clouding my decision on leaving him in that classroom. Last yr my son told me " mom I know I’m special everyone tells me I’m in the special classroom" this breaks my heart. I’m so confused. I do think that I should at least start with him going to a regular class sometimes. do i discuss this with his teacher or social worker?

Wanda - posted on 08/13/2014

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We just move from NY to Fl so I haven’t met his teachers yet. His annual testing is in November so I will know then, but last November they agreed that he is in the correct classroom. I can see where my husband is coming from because he is just scared that we are limiting my son. He states that my son quits when it’s too hard and he feels that this classroom ratio is making it very easy for him. I understand where he may be coming from but I don’t know if my fear of my son feeling defeated or feeling like he can’t do whatever he wants is clouding my decision on leaving him in that classroom. Last yr my son told me " mom I know I’m special everyone tells me I’m in the special classroom" this breaks my heart. I’m so confused. I do think that I should at least start with him going to a regular class sometimes. do i discuss this with his teacher or social worker?

Wanda - posted on 08/13/2014

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Shawnn Lively he is a new parent so he doesnt understand what IEP really means. I have been so protective when it comes to my son's education that I souldve educate him a little more. I love this classroom because my sons doesnt feel left behind. He tells me he is smart and he loves knowing that he can help his fellow classmates.

Jessica - posted on 08/13/2014

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My initial question is what do his teachers think? How is he doing in that program? Does he get to go to any regular classes? Or is he always in the other classroom?

I am a special education teacher and having time to spend with his peers, especially in elective classes, should be an easy way to see how successful he will be outside his typical classroom setting. I do not know how well he deals with change, so starting off with just one class outside his typical classroom would probably be a good first step. I try to push for all my students to be in as many regular classes as possible, because the reality is that the world outside of school is not segregated.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/13/2014

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What do his teachers think? Your husband seems to be under the old impression that an IEP means 'stupid', which is by no means correct.

Both of my kid had an IEP in grade school, and it helped tremendously with their development. By the time they hit HS, the IEP was no longer necessary. This could be the same with your son, depending on the conditions warranting the IEP.

But your husband needs to realize that an IEP doesn't equal stupid, it is an INDIVIDUALIZED education plan for a student, and more kids than he realizes have one. Besides that, a 6/1 ratio is an awesome interaction ratio. I'd keep my kid in that setting.

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