Need Advice on Teen and his Dad

Corey - posted on 11/24/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




A little about me: I'm a stay-at-home homeschooling mom to 4 kids; 2 boys (15 & 16) that I had with my ex and 2 girls (9 &11) that I had with my husband. My parenting style is Love & Logic, I don't believe in taking things away or punishment, just try to use consequences and guidance instead.

A little about my ex: He is a recently divorced single dad (in addition to my boys, he has full custody of another son whose mother died and has partial custody of his daughter with his ex-wife). He lives in a community that seems to attract derelicts and he likes to party. A lot.

My problem: While my 16 year old has learned that his dad seems to be making mistakes and that he is very lucky to have a "normal" family and knows he has a pretty good life, my 15 year old admires his dad, loves the freedom he gets (basically no rules), and wants to move there.

On one hand, I feel like if I tell him he can't it will put up a wall between us and he will rebel, even run away to his dads. On the other hand, I want to trust that I raised him right and let him go hoping that he will make the right decisions (or even want to come home). But I also feel that with the very little supervision he is getting he will get into trouble and make mistakes and end up stuck in that community for the rest of his life.

Any advice?


Raye - posted on 11/24/2015




Have you talked to the dad about your son's wants, and does he even agree to let the boy live there?
Will your son continue to be home-schooled or be enrolled into a public school?
Will the father agree to implement SOME of the same rules as your house?
If your son decides it's not all puppies and rainbow's at dad's, what would be the agreement about him moving back home?

There's probably a million more questions that you and his dad should work out before the decision is made. But regardless of what the boy wants, the only ones who can make the decision are you and his dad. So, don't let him bully you into doing something if you feel it's really not the right thing. You are the parent. And if he is having issues where you're afraid he may run away, those issues won't get better at dad's. The boy probably needs some counseling.

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