Need advice please help!!

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

Okay where do I begin... Back when my soon to be Ex-husband and I were married, we already had a rocky relationship. He cheated on me constantly or break up with me to be with someone else but after a day or two we'd be back together. At that age (21 yrs) I was so much in love with him that no matter what he did, I took him back. Well one night he broke up with me again. I already knew why, and so me being upset and hurt I went out with my girlfriends and i guess got really drunk and had a one night stand! Really didn't think much of it the next day as my boyfriend calls and takes me back.. Well to speed things up a little, I got pregnant, we got married and my son was born. My whole pregnancy and the first couple of years i really didn't think much of it, but as the years went by, my son does not look nothing like his father. And i know i shouldn't go by looks or physical features, but it just doesn't feel right, but I kept my mouth shut and just let it be. Throughout the years my husband had a missing connection, i guess i should say because he wasn't really involved. He was more to himself. Its been hard dealing with my husband cheating on me again while we were married, but i wanted to keep my family together. Anyways my son is 6 years old now and were on the verge of getting a divorce. I just couldn't take it anymore and admit I had enough. So what i'm here to ask anybody reading this is I need somekind of advice. Should i tell my ex that it might not be his son? I know i should because its the right thing to do, but i'm really affraid. I'm also affraid of him of what he'll do, so i also would want to know how to tell him. Please help, i'm so torn and i want no more secrets.... thank you

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Katherine - posted on 08/19/2011

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Wow, that's a tough one. I would tell him, BUT if you are afraid he will be violent then I wouldn't.
What would he do? In all honesty he has cheated on you and disrespected your marriage. You do owe him the truth but he owes you too. It doesn't matter if the child is his or not his name is on the birth certificate and he has raised this child. Or not as you said. Honestly I don't know. If he is violent then do NOT tell him.

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